Humorus Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. - P. G. Wodehouse

He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage - he won't encounter many rivals. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke. - Terry Cohen 

He who’s always blowing a fuse is usually in the dark. - Franklin P. Jones

He worked like hell in the country so he could live in the city, where he worked like hell so he could live in the country. - Don Marquis

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. - Unknown

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings. - Unknown

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. - Laurence Peter

His only fault is that he has none. - Pliny the Younger 

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets. - Dorothy Parker

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. - Winston Churchill

Holland lies so low they’re only saved by being dammed. - Thomas Hood

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. - Franklin P. Jones

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. - Steve Landesberg

Hot water is my native element. I was in it as a baby, and I have never seemed to get out of it ever since. - Edith Sitwell