Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Advice - Quotes


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Good advice offering requires knowing a person very, very well. So well, in fact, that you may know more about them than they know about themselves in certain situations. Then, good advice is loving and given out of love. It is never to control or manipulate. Then, it is giving information; just giving, not enforcing, information. And lastly and most importantly, after advice is given, the outcome is let go of completely, trusting that the other person will take it, leave it, or ponder it. - Anne Wilson Schaef

Nothing is less sincere than the manner of asking and giving advice. He who asks it seems to have a respectful deference for the opinion of his friend; though he only aims at making him approve his own, and be responsible for his conduct. And he who gives it, repays the confidence reposed in him by a seemingly disinterested zeal; though he seldom means anything by the advice he gives but his own interest or reputation. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

What’s wrong with advice? Advice is often a basic insult to the intelligence of the other person. It implies a lack of confidence in the capacity of the person with the problem to understand and cope with his or her own difficulties. As Norman Kagan puts it, “In essence, we implicitly say to someone, ‘You have been making a “big deal” out of a problem whose solution is immediately apparent to me – how stupid you are!’” - Robert Bolton

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