Lawyer: You say you robbed the grocery store because you were practically starving. Then why didn’t you steal some food rather than clean out the cash register?
Client: Sir, I’m a proud man and I always pay for whatever I eat.
Said one friend to another as they were viewing a small oil painting in a local museum, “It’s a nicely done portrait, I think, but I doubt it will ever get stolen.”
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered.
A newspaper reporter anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.”
The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
After the examination, the doctor looked at the patient with a bright smile and announced cheerfully: “Mrs. Jones, I have wonderful news for you!”
“Excuse me,” said the patient, “it’s Miss Jones.”
“In that case,” replied the doctor, “I have some bad news for you.”