Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

Enjoy today’s selection of Paraprosdokians. May your days be filled with laughter.

My wife found out I’ve been cheating on her after she found all the letters I’ve been hiding. She was really mad. She said she’s never ever playing scrabble with me again. - Unknown

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! - Tommy Smothers

The family that stays together probably has only one car. - Knofel Staton

I’ll give you the same advice I give my children: Never take advice from anybody. - Robert Altma

Some people get weird as they grow old. Not me though, I am always weird. - Unknown

Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. - Unknown

I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming. - Unknown

Home is where you can say anything you please, because nobody pays any attention to you anyway. - Joe Moore

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it. - Evan Esar

A: I visited my sick uncle over Christmas, and took some presents and a bottle of whiskey.
B: That’s nice.
A: I hope he doesn’t notice they’re gone.

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Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see, or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Enjoy this selection of paraprosdokians. May your week ahead be filled with laughter.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy. - Dave Barry

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun. - Groucho Marx

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein

I could tell by their audible gasps that the people on the beach were jealous of me when I found five shark’s teeth. Locating them wasn’t really the problem, but pulling them out of my leg was. - Jarod Kintz

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret – like, oh, throwing a book at someone else. - Pseudonymous Bosch

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. - P. J. O’Rourke

Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor’s motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one. - Dave Barry

When things haven’t gone well for you, call in a secretary or a staff man and chew him out. You will sleep better and they will appreciate the attention. - Lyndon B. Johnson

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

Enjoy today’s selection of Paraprosdokians. May your days be filled with laughter.

Strong people don’t put others down, they lift them up... And them slam them into the ground for maximum damage. - Unknown

It’s never too late to start getting fit and that is why I’m waiting until later. - Unknown

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. - Mark Twain

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. It took me four days, but whatever. - Unknown

If one door closes and another one opens, your house is haunted and you need to run. - Unknown

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit. - Unknown

Some people are so judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them. - Unknown

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. - Unknown

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Unknown

Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time. - Howard Nemerov

A man drove me to drink and I never got to thank him. - Unknown

I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work. - Vince the sign guy

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

Enjoy today's selection of paraprosdokians. May your days be filled with laughter.

If I make you breakfast in bed, simple ‘thank you’ is all I need. Not all this ‘how did you get in my house?’ business. - Unknown

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever works. - Unknown

Don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping. - Unknown

If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention. - Tom Peters

Every morning is the dawn of a new error. - Unknown

I’m not as dumb as you look. - Unknown

There’s a price on your head? Take it! - Unknown

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it. - Unknown

Laughter is the best medicine since you don't have health insurance. - Unknown

The greatest influence on a child begins with the birth of his parents. - Les Crane

If people make you sick, maybe you should cook them longer. - Vince the sign guy

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

It’s always darkest before dawn. So, if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. - Unknown

I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself. - Oscar Wilde

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly. - Oscar Wilde

Every day I hear stupid people say things that are not stupid. - Michel de Montaigne

I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me four days, but whatever. - Unknown

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry – and the world laughs harder. - Evan Esar

Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it. - Evan Esar

It takes a wonderful brain and exquisite senses to produce a few stupid ideas. - George Santayana

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple “calm down’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset. - Unknown

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

The husband who doesn’t tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn’t know won’t hurt him. - Leo J. Burke

Sometimes I step outside and look up at the stars and think to myself … Damn I love pissing outside. - Unknown

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. - Unknown

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. - Robert Bloch

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. - Oscar Wilde

I didn’t find out what happiness means until I got married… and then it was too late. - Unknown

Always look on the bright side of life. Otherwise it’ll be too dark to read. - Unknown

I am not always right, but I am never wrong. - Unknown

Don't do drugs, because you will go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. - John Harwick

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow. - Don Herold

All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband someday. - Franklin P. Jones

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me. - Anatole France

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re wrapped around your throat, she’s probably a bit upset. - Sheila Burke

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like? - Jean Cocteau

Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice. - Minna Antrim

The art galleries of Paris contain the finest collection of frames I ever saw. - Humphrey Davy

I don’t like people who take drugs, customs men for example. - Mick Miller

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so. - Unknown

If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. - Marcelene Cox

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news. - Bertolt Brecht

The best defence against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off. - Unknown

Won’t you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. - Richard B. Sheridan

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. - Isaac Asimov

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. - Simpsons

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple “calm down’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset. - Unknown

The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it. - Unknown

Women must come off the pedestal. Men put us up there to get us out of the way. - Viscountess Rhondda

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. - Anatole France

She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

Relationships are like fat people. Most of them don’t work out. - Unknown

Someday you’ll go far. Please stay there. - Unknown

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. - George Carlin

I broke my arm in three places so I won’t be going back to those places. - Jim Rose

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sometimes you have to burn the bridges to keep the crazies from following you. - Unknown

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering. - Tom Waits

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Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see, or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Enjoy this selection of paraprosdokians. They are funny, but at the same time, there is some truth in them. May your week ahead be filled with laughter.

More than ever before, people are suffering from back problems; back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. - Robert Orben

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them? - Leo Durocher

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

One should forgive one’s enemies, but not before they are hanged. - Heinrich Heine

No sense being pessimistic … it wouldn’t work anyway. - John Robb

Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it. - Unknown

Some folks are wise, and some are otherwise. - Tobias Smollett

One should love animals. They are so tasty. - Unknown

Properly trained, a Man can be Dog’s best friend. - Corey Ford

People hate the truth. Luckily, the truth doesn’t care. - Larry Winger

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius, and we’re sceptical. - Arthur C. Clarke

There are no favourites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration. - Lyndon B. Johnson

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you are a terrible parent… I don’t care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them. - Unknown

Stop blaming yourself or others. Learn Feng Shui and blame the furniture. - Unknown

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. - Unknown

Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them. - Robert Lynd

I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them. - Emo Phillips

I’m great in bed. I can sleep for days. - Unknown

There is no problem a good miracle can’t solve. - Unknown

Some people just need a sympathetic pat … on the head … with a hammer. - Unknown

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. - Salvador Dali

I resign. I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member. - Groucho Marx

Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. - Erica Jong

Wine is a bad thing. It makes you quarrel with your neighbour, it makes you shoot at your landlord, it makes you – miss him. - Ossip Gabrilowitsch

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Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see, or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Enjoy this selection of paraprosdokians. They are funny, but at the same time, there is some truth in them. May your week ahead be filled with laughter.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you love someone, set them free. If you hate someone, set them free. Basically set everyone free and get a dog. - Unknown

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart. - Erma Bombeck

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway. - Unknown

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

No news is good news. No journalists is even better. - Nicolas Bentley

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope

Reading can seriously damage your ignorance. - Unknown

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome Klapka Jerome

Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for twenty minutes. - Unknown

I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes... - Philip Dusenberry

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Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see, or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Enjoy this selection of paraprosdokians. They are funny, but at the same time, there is some truth in them. May your week ahead be filled with laughter.

Money doesn’t always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars. - Hobart Brown

If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again. - Unknown

I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead. - Alan Alexander

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. - Unknown

Pleasing everyone is impossible. Infuriating them is easier and far more amusing. - Unknown

Listen to your heart. Even though it’s on the left side, it’s always right. - Unknown

Alcohol is never the answer. But it can make you forget the question. - Unknown

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. - Earl Wilson

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later to be found out. - Oscar Wilde

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them... well, I have others. - Groucho Marx

I’ve been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it. - Steven Wright

Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational – but how much does it cost you to knock on wood? - Unknown

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

I like to think of myself as a Natural Disaster. If you really piss me off, Naturally there will be Disaster. - Unknown

Think twice before you speak. You may be able to say something even more insulting. - Unknown

I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs. - Unknown

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. - P. D. East

Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer. - Will Rogers

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. - Dorothy Parker

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage should be like a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops. - Unknown

I’ve got a firm policy on gun control. If there’s a gun around, I want to be the one controlling it. - Unknown

Of course I can keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t keep them. - Anthony Haden-Guest

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

Laughing is the best medicine. Unless you are laughing for no reason, then you need medicine. - Unknown

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed. - David Frost

I am going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea. - Unknown

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. - Oscar Levant

If there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you’re in a cave. Turn around. - Unknown

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

I am taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see. - Unknown

It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right. - Unknown

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met! - Rodney Dangerfield

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Unknown

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. - Steven Wright

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one. - Unknown

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Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

I hope the following paraprosdokians put a smile on your face.

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Trent Redman

Regular naps prevent old age ... especially if you take them while driving. - Unknown

I would jump in front of a train for you, as long as it’s not moving. - Unknown

Don’t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. - Josh Billings

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. - Margaret Mead

I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears. - Jarod Kintz

An egotist is a person of low taste – more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce

I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister. - Will Marsh

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet. - Lewis C. Henry

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. - Samuel Goldwyn

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly. - Unknown

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Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see, or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Enjoy this selection of paraprosdokians. They are funny, but at the same time, there is some truth in them. May your week ahead be filled with laughter.

Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, count to ten, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you wouldn’t look good in prison stripes and just smile at that dumbass and walk away. - Unknown

I was going to quit all my bad habits. I really was! But then it occurred to me that no one likes a quitter! - Unknown

A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. - Unknown

I hate when people assume I don’t like them. I want them to ask me, so I can tell them myself. - Unknown

As a young child my mother told me I can be anyone I want to be. Turns out this is called identity theft. - Unknown

When I get a headache, I take two Aspirin and keep away from children. Just like it says on the bottle. - Unknown

Forgive your enemies – if you can’t get back at them any other way. - Franklin P. Jones

If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road. - Unknown

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them. - Unknown

Don’t be afraid of a few extra pounds. Fat people are harder to kidnap. - Unknown

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Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see, or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Enjoy this selection of paraprosdokians. They are funny, but at the same time, there is some truth in them. May your week ahead be filled with laughter.

My husband and I don’t want to have children. We will be telling them tonight at dinner. - Unknown

A gentleman is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on. - Fred Allen

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don’t like? - Jean Cocteau

An epic is the easiest kind of picture to make badly. - Fred R. Barnard

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said. - Unknown

I’ve got my faults, but living in the past is not one of them. There’s no future in it. - Sparky Anderson

If anything is worth doing, it is worth telling someone how to do it well. - Franklin P. Jones

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. - Mae West

When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away. - Robert M. Hutchins

If at first you do succeed, try, try not to be a bore. - Franklin P. Jones

Regular naps prevent old age .. especially if you take them while driving. - Unknown

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway. - Unknown

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Thank you for stopping by. Follow me if you find my posts interesting. If you know of anyone who might appreciate them, do recommended the blog to them. Cheers!

If you are on Facebook, drop by and take a look at my Facebook Page - 👉 HERE

Paraprosdokians

Some humour is straight forward. You see or hear them, and you burst out laughing. Others are more subtle. You need a second or two, to see the humour in them.

Paraprosdokians are an example, the punch line is dropped a second or two later, giving what was said an entirely different meaning, wherein lies the humour. You will notice a lot of these in comedy shows. Stand-Up comedians use them a lot to get the laughs too.

Here are some paraprosdokians for you. Remember the ones you like, and you can go put a smile on someone's face. They might not tell you, but they will be thankful to you for that. We all like someone who can make us laugh.

Pulled out a nose hair today to see if it hurt... Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the bus, it seems pretty painful. - Unknown

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple ‘calm down’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset. - Unknown

If ants are such busy workers, how come they find time to go to all the picnics. - Marie Dressler

I’ve suffered from all of the hang-ups known, and none is as bad as the telephone. - Richard Armour

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them quite so much. - Oscar Wilde

I drink to make other people look more interesting. - George Jean Nathan

Don’t take life so seriously … you will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational – but how much does it cost you to knock on wood? - Unknown

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today … but those cops came of nowhere. - Unknown

You can’t always control who walks into your life … but you can control which window you throw them out of. - Unknown

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Thank you for stopping by. Follow me if you find my posts interesting. If you know of anyone who might appreciate them, do recommended the blog to them. Cheers!

If you are on Facebook, drop by and take a look at my Facebook Page - 👉 HERE

Paraprosdokians

My husband and I don’t want to have children. We will be telling them tonight at dinner. - Unknown

I had a date last night. I really enjoyed it. So, tonight, I am going to try a fig. - Unknown

Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving. - Unknown

Not to brag, but I just went into another room and actually remember why I went in there. It was the bathroom, but still… - Unknown

A recent study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey. - Unknown

People usually get what’s coming to them – unless it’s been mailed. - Unknown

Don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping. - Unknown

I am not drinking any more. Then again, I am not drinking any less. - Unknown

Be safe tonight. Sleep with a cop. - Unknown

Everybody should believe in something. I believe I should win the lotto, quit my job and be sitting on a beach drinking beer. - Unknown

I finally got eight hours of sleep! It took three days… but, whatever. - Unknown

With great power comes great utility bills. - Unknown

More Paraprosdokians HERE

Paraprosdokians

People say I act like I don’t give a shit. I’m not acting. - Unknown

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding down. - Unknown

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever works. - Unknown

Life is too short to hold a grudge. Slash some tyres and call it even. - Unknown

Someone, somewhere is made for you. Go ruin their life. - Unknown

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago, and it fitted. So proud of myself. It was a scarf. But still. Let’s be positive here. - Unknown

More Paraprosdokians HERE

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