Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

Laughing is the best medicine. Unless you are laughing for no reason, then you need medicine. - Unknown

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed. - David Frost

I am going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea. - Unknown

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. - Oscar Levant

If there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you’re in a cave. Turn around. - Unknown

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

I am taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see. - Unknown

It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right. - Unknown

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met! - Rodney Dangerfield

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Unknown

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. - Steven Wright

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one. - Unknown

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