Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia

I like to think of myself as a Natural Disaster. If you really piss me off, Naturally there will be Disaster. - Unknown

Think twice before you speak. You may be able to say something even more insulting. - Unknown

I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs. - Unknown

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. - P. D. East

Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer. - Will Rogers

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. - Dorothy Parker

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage should be like a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops. - Unknown

I’ve got a firm policy on gun control. If there’s a gun around, I want to be the one controlling it. - Unknown

Of course I can keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t keep them. - Anthony Haden-Guest

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