Witty Humour

An aphorism is a short saying that is intended to express a general truth. Some Aphorisms come with a pinch of humour, which makes them more appealing to the masses. A humorous quote not only teaches you a lesson, it also helps you to develop your wit and sense of humour, while putting a smile on your face.

Enjoy today's selection of humorous and witty quotes. They are funny, and at the same time, there is quite a bit of truth in them.

I matured when I realized that not every situation needs my reaction. Sometimes you just have to leave people to do the dumb shit they want to do. - Unknown

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

If a man sits down to think, he is immediately asked if he has a headache. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He who’s always blowing a fuse is usually in the dark. - Franklin P. Jones

I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of. - Clarence Darrow

His acrid words turn the sweet milk of kindness into curds. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

How quick come the reasons for approving what we like. - Jane Austen

A good mood is like a balloon … one little prick is all it takes to ruin it! - Unknown

The road to success is filled with women pushing their husbands along. - Lord Thomas Robert Dewar

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet. - Stanislaw Lec

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. - Samuel Johnson

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

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