“Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.” - Wikipedia
Sometimes I step outside and look up at the stars and think to myself … Damn I love pissing outside. - Unknown
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. - Unknown
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. - Robert Bloch
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. - Oscar Wilde
I didn’t find out what happiness means until I got married… and then it was too late. - Unknown
Always look on the bright side of life. Otherwise it’ll be too dark to read. - Unknown
I am not always right, but I am never wrong. - Unknown
Don't do drugs, because you will go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. - John Harwick
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow. - Don Herold
All women should know how to take care of children. Most of them will have a husband someday. - Franklin P. Jones
Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me. - Anatole France
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