Witty Sayings

We all like a person who can make us laugh. So, take a look at today’s selection of witty humour. Remember the ones you like and go impress your friends with your wit and humour. You will be very popular.

Have a great week ahead and may your days be filled with laughter.

Everything you need for a better future and success has already been written. And guess what? All you have to do is go to the library. - Jim Rohn

Consultants are people who borrow your watch and tell you what time it is, and then walk off with the watch. - Robert Townsend

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full … Be grateful that you have a glass, and there is something in it. - Unknown

Conceit is the weirdest disease in the world. It makes everyone sick except the one who has it. - Hartman Rector Jr.

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

An encyclopaedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order. - Mike Barfield

Dig where the gold is – unless you just need some exercise. - John M. Capozzi

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it. - Unknown

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking. - Earl Wilson

Deep feeling doesn’t make for good poetry. A way with language would be a bit of help. - Thom Gunn

If you stop advertising to save money... you might as well stop your clock to save time! - Echo Germanica

Death has got something to be said for it; There’s no need to get out of bed for it; Wherever you may be, They bring it to you, free. - Sir Kingsley William Amis

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