Humour

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Mom and dad were fighting.
Teacher: So what makes you late if they were fighting?
Student: One of my shoes was in mom's hand, and the other in dad's.

A guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him, 'Nice perfume.....which one is it? I want to give it to my wife.'
The lady said,'Don't give her. Some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her.

Wife: I hate that beggar.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Rascal, yesterday I gave him food. Today he gave me a book on, "How to Cook!”

Enjoy these fresh two-liners

Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Never drink and derive

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have:
The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her.

There are two kinds of people who don't say much:
Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

They say that alcohol kills slowly.
So what? Who's in a hurry?

One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.

Wife Sues Hospital For Husband's Lack of Sex Drive

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke’s Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his eyesight."

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