Jokes

Who’s talking

            An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, “I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you”

            Her husband asks, “Is that you, or the wine talking?”

            She replies, “It’s me … talking to the wine.”

It Could Have Been Worse

            There was a man whose store had been looted right down to the bare shelves.

            “Did you lose a great deal?” asked a detective.

            “Everything,” said the storekeeper. “But it could have been worse. I am lucky they didn’t loot he place the night before last.”

            “How come?” said the detective.

            “Well,” said the storekeeper, “yesterday I marked everything down forty percent.”

They Saw It On Television

            Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

            “Eight,” the boy replied.

            The man continued, “Do you know how these are used?”

            The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They are for my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you used these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can’t do either.”