Student: Sir, I have a complaint. I do not believe I deserve a zero on this exam.
Professor: Neither do I, but it is the lowest grade I can give.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right. In fact, I’m just the right person in this case. You see, I won’t be of much help anyway!
Crime was getting so bad in a city. A burglar told the police that he only robs stores in the daytime “….because I’m afraid to be out on the streets at night with so much money.”