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A team is a mutual protection society formed
to guarantee that no one person can be to blame for a botched committee job
that one man would have performed satisfactorily. - Russell Baker
The government has discovered a great new way
of cutting down on unemployment – they're going to raise the school leaving age
to forty-seven. - Jerry Dennis
You may not be able to read a doctor’s
handwriting and prescription, but you’ll notice his bills are neatly
typewritten. - Earl Wilson
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting
for the answer, sex raises
some pretty interesting questions. - Woody Allen
No woman should ever be quite accurate about
her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar
Wilde
They say all marriages are made in heaven,
but so are thunder and lightning. - Clint
Eastwood
If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have
taken better care of myself. - Mickey
Mantle
I know I’ve got Irish blood because I wake up
every day with a hangover. - Unknown
Tattoos transform us from raw animals into
cooked cultural beings. - Claude
Levi-Strauss
We’ve had bad luck with our kids – they’ve
all grown up. - Christopher Marley
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally
overboard. - Andy Borowitz
Men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and
disposable. - Unknown
Food for thought
gives some folks indigestion. - Ken
Alstad
Money talks. If it's the dollar, it's small talk. -
Croft Pentz
Rehab is for quitters! - Unknown
More Humorous quotes at
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