Friendship

It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship. - Henry Ward Beecher 

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship. - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely. - Pam Brown 

All self-revelation and intimacy in friendship must be spontaneous and natural. It must come like the opening of a flower in the sunshine and cannot be forced. - Bertha Conde 

The friendships which last are those wherein each friend respects the other's dignity to the point of not really wanting anything from him. - Cyril Connelly 

Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. Others have their family; but to a solitary and an exile, his friends are everything. - Willa Cather 

The light of friendship is like the light of phosphorous, seen plainest when all is dark. - Robert Crowell

Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another. - Eustace Budgell 

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are throughout persuaded of each other's worth. - Robert Southey

Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words. - George Eliot 

When you rise in life, your friends know who you are. When you fall down, you know who are your friends. - Unknown

A mark of genuine friendship is the privilege of being yourself and still being accepted. Friendship is a comforting smile, a familiar voice that warms the heart. - Unknown

Friends

If out of all mankind one finds a single friend, he has found something more precious than any treasure, since there is nothing in the world so valuable that it can be compared to a real friend. - Andreas Capellanus

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults. - Charles Kingsley

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. - John Churton Collins

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Winston Churchill

The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. - Homer

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares. - Unknown

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you do not say. - Unknown

Good friends are like stars. You do not always see them, but you know they are always there. - Unknown

You can always tell a real friend: when you have made a fool of yourself he does not feel you have done a permanent job. - Unknown

A friend is someone ...

… to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away;

… whom you can confide the secret you want no other living soul to know yet will never pry into your heart to discover whether there are any more secrets to reveal;

… who can extend a helping hand and lighten your load without expecting any other reward. Who gives all he can whenever he can without ever keeping a record of what he has given;

… who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked;

… whom you spontaneously turn to for help when you are in trouble, and who is the first to hear the good news when you have good fortune;

… who admires you or your strong points but loves you in spite of your weak points;

… who can feel and show satisfaction when you please him but without resentment when you disappoint him;

… who will tell you the truth when it hurts and to whom you can tell the truth without his taking offence;

… who knows your joy, your sorrows and tears. Someone who cares and shares your world throughout the sad-sweet years;

… who brings us laughter, even in our tears, whose memories make us smile across the miles and though the years;

… who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts who you have become and still gently invites you to grow;

… who believes in you when faith is running low, and whose gentle words of wisdom help you choose which way to go;

… who comforts us when we feel blue, whose special warmth and happy smile makes us feel that life is worthwhile;

… who can laugh at your foibles without despising you for having them;

… who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else;

… who walks into our world, when the rest of the world walks out on us;

… who reaches for your hand and touches your heart;

… we turn to when our spirits need a lift;

Why we need friends

Because of a friend, life is a little stronger, fuller, more gracious thing for the friend's existence, whether he be near or far. If the friend is close at hand, that is best; but if he is far away he still is there to think of, to wonder about, to hear from, to write to, to share life and experience with, to serve, to honor, to admire, to love. - Arthur Christopher Benson

My friends are little lamps to me. Their radiance warms and cheers my ways. And all the pathway dark and lone is brightened by their rays. I try to keep them bright by faith. And never let them dim with doubt; For every time I lose a friend, a little lamp goes out. - Elizabeth Whittemore

A friend is; a push when you have stopped, a word when you are lonely, a guide when you are searching, a smile when you are sad, a song when you are glad. - Unknown

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. - Anais Nin

At every crisis in one's life, it is absolute salvation to have some sympathetic friend to whom you can think aloud without restraint or misgiving. - Woodrow Wilson

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. - Unknown

A true friend hears the song in your heart and sings it to you when your memory fails. - Unknown

Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joy, and dividing our grief. - Joseph Addison

In a friendship there is the magical warmth of the human heart that surpasses the power of medicine. - Unknown

Why do friendships break up?

Have you ever wonder why friendships break up? Or how come you and your friend were best of pals at one stage, and then you were not friends anymore? There are many reasons why a friendship failed.

Communication and/or the lack of communication is a common cause for a friendship to break up. When there is a lack of communication, it could be construed as we are not interested in being friends. On the other hand, misunderstanding arising from a communication, and not clearing up the misunderstanding immediately, often puts a dent in the friendship. This unhappiness builds up until such time when the situation is beyond repair.

Marriages have also caused friendships to fade, as our spouse might not take to our friends, or vice versa. Besides, when people marry, there is bound to be some adjustment in their relationship with their friends. Their priority, and responsibility will be more on the family. The married man would not have as much time to hang out with his friends.

It is also true that very often, we take our friends for granted. We assumed that all is well, that our friends will always be there for us. We did not play our part in maintaining the friendship. By the time we realized something is amiss, it is too late.

Then there are friendships that die because they have simply run their course. People stop calling each other - weeks turn into months and then years and by then it was too late to resuscitate the friendship. No quarrel, no disagreement, no underlying unhappiness or animosity. Just like that.

As with all things in life, nothing lasts forever. When a friendship has died, let it go. Don’t feel bad or guilty about it. If the friendship is so important to us, or the other party, we would have made more effort to keep it going. Friendship is a two way process. It takes two people to want to keep the friendship alive - to put in the necessary effort, to maintain, and cultivate the friendship. Otherwise, the friendship will not last.

Times change, people change. Friends come and go in our lives. We cannot keep all our friends. That is impossible. We only have time for a few friends. Therefore we should choose our friends carefully. Choose people who we are sure about, who are worth their name, to be our friends.

There are lifelong friends, and lifelong friendships. However, we must put in a little effort; we must play our part in keeping the friendship alive, and we must value our friends a little more. Most importantly, we should make sure that we are a friend too!

Friends and Friendship

There is a Chinese saying that goes, loosely translated, like this: "Drinking with a true friend, a thousand cups is not enough." And another that goes: "At home you count on your parents, outside of your home you count on your friends." Such are sayings in praise of friendship and the importance of having friends.

The more friends we have, the richer our life would be. This is a fact. However, it is also a fact that a true friend is hard to come by. And we would be very lucky indeed if we have a friend to be there for us in our ups and downs, trials and tribulations in life.

But what is this concept called friendship? When and how does one become a friend? What makes us call somebody a friend and others acquaintances? Why is it that we ‘click’ with some people and not others?

We are never sure when friendship starts. At first, we are just acquaintances. Then we discover we have common interests - the more things we have in common, the better we are able to relate to each other.

As we get to know each other better, and as we understand more about the person, a bond develops. After a period of time, when the bond strengthened and we are comfortable with each other, I guess that’s when we call each other friends.

There is also this one very important factor to be considered when it comes to human relationship. It is call chemistry. Whether we ‘click’ with another or not depends on whether this ‘chemistry’ is present. I suppose this explains how we can sometimes be firm friends with people who are very different to us.

Friendship never remains the same. It is constantly changing. Sometimes, we feel closer to our friends than before, sometimes we feel there is a gap to be bridged, a wall to break down in our friendship. And there will come a time when the friendship is tested. There will be arguments, disagreement, conflict of interests, adversities etc… How we react, and respond to the situations will determine how strong the friendship is, and whether we remain friends.

Sometimes a friendship is formed when adversity strikes. In our adversity, the person who stretches out his or her hands to lift us up proves himself or herself worthy of a friend.

When we were young, we made friends easily. Our playmates were our friends. We had fun - we were happy playing together, and that was all that matters. In our innocent years, we did not think too far ahead.

As we grew older, we have higher expectations. Having a shared interest does not automatically qualify someone as a friend anymore. We are also more set in our ways and less willing to compromise. We began to be more specific about who we want to call friends. However, we also find that it is now, not only harder to maintain old friendships, but also harder to form new ones.

In this rat race society where it is every man for himself, and what with our daily demands, concerns, and pressures from work, we hardly think of taking time to cultivate a friendship. Carving out a career, and balancing time for the family takes much of the energy out of us. By the end of the day, we are just glad to have some peace and quiet to ourselves. We do not have the time nor energy to get to know a person better. As such, although we might get along nicely with people on the surface, we are still hesitant to call them friends because we do not know enough about them.

Cynicism, scepticism, and the superficial social circle adds to the difficulty of finding a true friend. Perhaps after a few disappointment in life, as well as with people, we become more sceptical about friends and this thing call friendship. When a friendship develops too quickly or when someone gets too close too quickly, we begin to suspect he is after something from us. We will then hold back on our commitments, giving the other party the impression that we do not want to be friends. By the time we realized our mistake, we would have missed out on the chance of having a friend.

Friendship is a rare commodity nowadays. The proverbial, “He who has found a friend has truly found a treasure” couldn’t be more true. I think the computer is fast becoming most people’s best friends these days. Before we become a race of cold, aloof, unfeeling people, we should rekindle this noble human quality called Friendship.

A Midwestern Grandma

            

 Lawyers should never ask a Midwestern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

            She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher! Yes, I know you."

            The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"

            She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

            The defence attorney almost died. The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

Good Or Bad, Hard To Say

            

Once upon a time, there was a king. The king liked one of his followers very much because he was very wise and always gave very useful advice. Therefore, the king took him along wherever he went.

            One day, a dog bit the king. The finger was injured and the wound was getting worse. He asked the follower if that was a bad sign. The follower said, “Good or bad, hard to say”. In the end, the finger of the king was so bad that it had to be cut. The king asked the follower again if that was a bad sign. Again, the follower gave the same answer, “Good or bad, hard to say.” The king became very angry and sent the follower to prison.

            One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. He got excited when he was on the chase of a deer. Deeper and deeper he went inside the jungle. In the end he found himself lost in the jungle. To make things worse, the native people who lived inside the jungle captured him. They wanted to sacrifice him to their god. But when they noticed that the king had one finger short, they released him immediately as he was not a perfect man anymore and not suitable for sacrifice.

            The king managed to get back to his palace after all. And he finally understood the follower's wise quote, “Good or bad, hard to say”. If he hadn’t lost one finger, the native people could have killed him. He ordered the follower to be released, and apologized to him. But to the king’s amazement, the follower was not mad at him at all. Instead, the follower said, “It wasn’t a bad thing that you locked me up.”

            Why? Because if the king hadn’t locked the follower up, he would have brought the follower along to the jungle. If the native found that the king was not suitable, they would have used the follower. Again, the quote ‘Good or bad, hard to say’ stands.

            The moral of the story is that everything that happens in this world, there is no absolute good or bad. Sometimes good things turned out to be bad things eventually, while bad things become a gain.

            Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it, but don’t have to hold too tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your life. Whatever bad things that happen to you, don’t have to feel too sad or despair, in the end, it might not be a total bad thing after all.

            If one can understand this, he or she will find life much easier.

Smile

You know how we sometimes ask our friends the question, “What is it in a person that attracts you?” and we get all sorts of answers. Or when we were asked that question and we could not come up with a satisfying answer.

Until recently, I wasn’t quite sure what is it in a person that attracts me. Now, if anyone were to ask me that question, I would answer, ‘the smile’, without a second thought. I think a smiling face attracts me most in a person.

To me, a genuine smile radiates warmth, and shows that the person is sincere, happy, well adjusted. A smile relaxes me, assures me that all is well, that my presence is appreciated - it shows comradeship. A smile also does wonders for our appearance. To me, a face with a smile is never ugly.

Does a smile do anything for you?

Do not go for looks; they can deceive. Do not go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. Unknown

Smile. The sunshine of your smile might chase the clouds from someone’s life today. It may be the ray of sunshine that someone needs in an otherwise stormy day. Unknown

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile! Unknown

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. - Charles Gordy

The Value of a smile

A smile costs nothing but creates much. It enriches those who receive without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. It creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in a business and is the countersign of friends. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and nature’s best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody until it is given away. None is so rich that they can get along without it and nobody needs a smile as much as those who have none left to give away. - Unknown

If you will force yourself to smile, you'll end up laughing. You will be cheerful because you smiled. Repeated experiments prove that when man assumes the facial expression of a given mental mood – any given mood – then that mental mood itself will follow. - Kenneth Goode

One of the ceaseless wonders of the world is the power of a smile. - Malcom Forbes

Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart. - Anthony D'Angelo

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness. - William Arthur Ward

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. - Joseph Addison

Sometimes just a smile on our face can help to make this world a better place. - Robert Alan

A smile

The following was extracted from an article by Chris R Warnken

            Everybody knows the meaning of a smile. It is a pleased or amused expression of the face, characterized by a raising up of the corners of the mouth.

            Under certain emotional circumstances a human being will smile involuntarily. Indeed, there are times when a concerted effort must be made to suppress a smile. At other times, a definite and specific effort must be made to form a smile upon the countenance.

            People smile for many reasons. Perhaps in admiration. Perhaps we smile in appreciation. Sometimes we smile in encouragement. Sometimes we smile of patience.

            When we are subjected to the valley of shadows, as each of us inevitable must be, when all of our best efforts seem to fail, when our trusted friends fail us; when every impulse within us moves us to cry out in anger and protest, when it is so difficult to refrain from weeping, the supreme test is to force a smile. Then, a smile means ‘this, too, will pass away.’ It means that we have faith and confidence in ourselves, and we realize that each of us must experience both the pleasant and unpleasant, and that we should not add our burden to that of others. It is not easy! But it can be done. Each smile of strength is a great step forward on our path of life.

            The epitome of all smiles is the smile of love. It is the most revealing; it is the easiest if sincere, it is the most needed smile in the world. It is the most disarming weapon in the world. Few can resist a genuine smile of love.

            The smile of love is complex, for it embodies the mechanics of all smiles: admiration, appreciation, encouragement, patience, and strength. It is finished off with a distinctive glow that makes it unique and unmistakable. Whether it is directed outward singularly or collectively, it is all-powerful.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. - Phyllis Diller

Laughter- Quotes

Laughter is a unique medicine that places your problems in perspective, relaxes your tense muscles, reassures those around you, and helps you to enjoy life even when you don’t have everything you want. - Unknown

A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around. - Carolyn Birmingham

Laughing may be one of nature’s cleverest tricks for keeping us healthy and safe. - Jeffrey Kluger

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. What a nice way to get the lungs to move and the blood to circulate. - Berk

The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed. - Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself. - Ethel Barrymore

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. Unknown

Laughter is the jam on the toast of life. It adds flavour, keeps it from being too dry and makes it easier to swallow. Unknown

The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. - Shirley MacLaine

Have a good laugh at yourself from time to time; A laugh at your own expense costs you nothing. Unknown

If you can laugh at it, you can live with it. - Erma Bombeck

Laughter is an instant vacation. Unknown

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. - Victor Hugo

A man isn't poor if he can still laugh. - Raymond Hitchcock

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Humour - Quotes

It makes no difference what kind of humour you indulge in, whether you revel in the coarsest puns or dwell on nihilistic black humour. As long as you engage in this type of activity you keep your mind working, sharp and nimble. It is a prevention against depression, a truly therapeutic agent of positive self healing. - Unknown

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humour. - Jennifer Jones

There is no defence against adverse fortune which is as effectual as an habitual sense of humour. - Unknown

A person without a sense of humour is like a wagon without springs—jolted by every pebble in the road. - Unknown

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Unknown

Humour is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Unknown

Every survival kit should include a sense of humour. - Unknown

The sense of humour is the oil of life's engine. Without it, the machinery creaks and groans. - G. S. Merriam

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humour. - Max Eastman

Like a welcome summer rain, humour may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - James Langston Hughes

A sense of humour can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable. - Moshe Waldoks

Humour is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots. - Steve Allen

Cultivate these four Character Traits

While we still may not have the necessary wisdom to see things for what they are, nor have the ability to control our mind’s negative reaction to things and situations, resulting in our unhappiness, there are certain character traits which when cultivated will help us be happier people.

First and foremost, we need to cultivate a sense of humour. Life being what it is, things will not always go according to what we planned, or the way we intended them to. Uncertainty and unpredictability in life means that the most well laid plans can still go wrong causing us frustrations when we least expected it. When that happens, humour is our first line of defence against unhappiness. Humour softens the impact of the blow and lightens the burden. Humour will help us laugh off minor annoyances and unpleasantness.

Secondly, we need to cultivate laughter in our life. We need to learn to laugh more; laugh at things, laugh at life, and most importantly, we must learn to laugh at ourselves. Laughter relaxes us. The more we laugh, the more relaxed we are. When we are relaxed, things don’t appear as daunting, so we are able to better deal with them. We cannot take life too seriously. We have to see the lighter side of things. The world is not going to stop for us when we are unhappy. Life goes on whether we are happy or sad, so we might as well laugh and be happy.

Thirdly, we need to cultivate the habit of smiling. We should make it a habit to wear a smile on our face, or at least be ready to smile at all times. When we smile, we give the impression that we are friendly, approachable, happy, pleasant and well mannered. Our smile could also mean that we understand, and that we empathize with what is going on. When we smile, we encourages others to smile. And if people are smiling, the atmosphere, the environment will become very relax and pleasant. We will feel relax too.

Finally, we need to cultivate cheerfulness in our disposition. Be friendly. Be the first to say a cheerful greeting. We will inevitability be spreading a bit of cheerfulness each time we do that. It might take a while before people warm up to us, and it might not work on everyone, but we should not let that put us off. Some people are more approachable than others. Pick the ones who look most likely to respond. When they do respond in kind, we will feel good too.

The above character traits can be cultivated. As we keep our wit and humour about us, as we laugh more and smile more, and maintain a cheerful dispoistion, very soon, we will find that we are actually quite relax and happy. We will discover that little things no longer irrtiate us so easily. Try it and see the results for yourself.

So, let there be joy, cheer and laughter in your life from this day on!

Happy New Year!

It’s Goodbye to 2007 and Hello to 2008.
Let me take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!