What Is A Right ?

A Right to be able to express one's opinions is a fundamental principle to the thinking human. But that right of expression becomes a Burden to the human race when the opinion expressed suppresses and violates the rights of other human lives. 

The Right of Speech is important, but the right to live peacefully and maintain harmony with other members of the human race without the fear of threats, violence, suppression and prejudice is the predominant right above the right of speech. So when the right of speech is misused and becomes aggressive and abusive towards any particular person or group; the right of speech should be curtailed, stopped and condemned.

Why should a licence be granted for a Right of Speech to a particular person who speaks out and influence unstable and irrational members of the human race to act on an emotional rage against the Right of others to live peacefully in this already troubled and pressured world. 

Can a right to speak includes the right to abuse and cause harm to others? I think not. If a basic human right allows an abuse and aggression to human lives, then what is the value of human life? Who is there to protect and be protected?

Get off the liberal platform and be more sensible in deciding the boundaries of the human rights of speech. Just because someone wants to speak and say something, then anything goes? The freedom of speech to express violence aggression hatred and prejudice is not a freedom, but a menace.

- Source Unknown 

Anal Optic Nerve

              Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects from the eyeball to the asshole? 

              It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. 

              If you don’t believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye.

Relationship - Article

A relationship is how two separate humans subtly become one. If people have no idea what a relationship entailed, they will fail miserably.

All of us need love, care, attention and recognition to be emotionally, mentally and physically healthy. Therefore, we have to spend time, effort and energy to build up trust, love, and care that are the fabrics of a relationship. 

It is mainly through intimate, continuing companionship that we can be presented with another’s unique world and can receive an honest reflection of our own. 

Living happily together is essentially a business of being prepared to compromise. In our relations with one another there has to give and as well as take. Of course, there are bound to be occasions when we cannot see eye to eye and get on each other’s nerves. 

Since it is the nature of relationships to occasionally breed misunderstandings, it is essential to learn to look for the trouble spots. 

The following are some problematic areas:

When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

Jealousy has ruined many intimate relationships. Each of us do not have exclusive rights to anyone and trying to cling on to one relationship is unhealthy because the tendency is to overload and overwork the relationship.

Creating space in your relationships means expanding your interests and having other relationships. It is not healthy to build your world around one person.

In any relationship we must be prepared to make changes and shifts in the relationship. This is necessary if you desire to build healthy relationships where both parties are allowed to grow and adjust to the changes.

People who apologize are not weak. It takes strength to admit that you are wrong. Apologize when you are wrong. All of us are wrong – plenty of time. It is foolish to let pride and insecurity keep us from saying so and patching up the friendship. Host of problems could be avoided by the use of one word – sorry!

A true apology is more than just acknowledgement of a mistake. It is recognition that something you have said or done has damaged a relationship – and that you care enough about the relationship to want it repaired and restored.

Two people who can keep love alive are the most special human beings on earth. That is why I find it so sweet and so touching when I see elderly couples hand-in-hand.

Their silence shows their togetherness and ease with each other. That’s the most formidable task - one of the things a couple has to constantly work on.

Any endeavour involving love should be experienced fully and with abandon. If it fails, at least we’ll know what doesn’t work and can try again.

The Best Solution For A Bad Situation

A bear was walking across a bridge when two cars also crossing the bridge scared it into jumping over the edge of the bridge. Somehow the bear caught the ledge and pulled itself to safety.


Authorities decided that nothing could be done to help since it was Saturday night. They decided to wait till Sunday morning. When they returned, they find the bear sound asleep on the ledge.


After securing a net under the bridge the bear was tranquillised.


The bear fell into the net, and was lowered.



On the ground, the bear woke up, walked out of the net, and walked away.


There is a moral to this story you know.

The bear made a wrong move and found he was hanging by his nails. Somehow he was able to pull himself up onto the ledge where he saw he was in a very bad, impossible situation. And what did he do?

Yep, he took a nap and sure enough the situation took care of itself while he was asleep.

The moral of the story is that; when confronted with a bad situation sometimes the best solution is . . . take a nap!

Drug Link To Sunburn Risk

The claim: Some types of medication can raise the risk of sunburn.

The facts: Most people know what precautions to take to protect their skin at the beach: slather on the sunscreen, reapply as needed and take breaks in the shade as often as possible.

              However, few people know that a number of common medication can intensify the effects of sunlight, greatly raising the risk of burning, getting rashes and other skin problems, even after a short time out in the sun.

              Studies show that this can happen in at least two ways.

              The first, known as a photoallergic reaction, occurs when a certain medicine or substance is applied to the skin.

              Ultraviolet light from the sun transforms the substance in a way that provokes the immune system, leading to irritated skin and eczema-like rashes. The onset of visible symptoms is usually delayed from 24 hours to several days.

              Far more common is a phenomenon called phototoxic reaction. It occurs when a person ingests the drug or substance in question, then spends time in the sun.

              Exposing the skin to ultraviolet rays excites molecules of the ingested substance, causing damage to skin tissue – severe redness and sunburn, for example – that is almost immediately apparent.

              The list of drugs that can cause sun sensitivity is long, but among the most common culprits are antibiotics like tetracycline, certain antihistamines and topical antimicrobials.

              The best remedy is either to limit the use of the offending substance or to take extra precautions, like wearing protective clothing.

The bottom line: Many drugs can raise a person’s sensitivity to sunlight.

- The New York Times 

Bitterness A Destructive Emotion

You know them. I know them. And, increasingly, psychiatrists know them. People who feel they have been wronged by someone and are so bitter they can barely function other than to ruminate about their circumstances.

This behaviour is so common – and so deeply destructive – that some psychiatrists are urging it be identified as a mental illness under the name post-trumatic embitterment disorder. The behaviour was discussed before an enthusiastic audience some time ago at a meeting of the American Psychiatric Association in San Francisco.

The disorder is modelled after post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because it, too, is a response to a trauma that endures. People with PTSD are left fearful and anxious. Embittered people are left seething for revenge.

“They feel the world has treated them unfairly. It’s one step more complex than anger. They’re angry plus helpless,” said Dr Michael Linden, a German psychiatrist who named the behaviour.

Embittered people are typically good people who have worked hard at something important, such as a job, relationship or activity, he said. When something unexpectedly awful happens – they don’t get the promotion, their spouse files for divorce or they fail to make the Olympic team – a profound sense of injustice overtakes them.

Instead of dealing with the loss with the help of family and friends, they cannot let go of the feeling of being victimised. Almost immediately after the traumatic event, they become angry, pessimistic, aggressive, hopeless haters.

“Embitterment is a violation of basic belifes,” Dr Linden said. “It causes a very severe emotional reaction … We are always coping with negative life events. It’s the reaction that varies.”

There are only a handful of studies on the conditon, but psychiatrists at the meeting agreed that much more research is needed on identifying and helping these people.

“These people usually don’t come to treatment because ‘the world has to change, not me,’ “Dr Linden said. “They are almost treatment resistant … Revenge is not a treatment.”

Nevertheless, he suggested that people once known as loving, normal individuals who suddenly snap and kill their family and themselves may have post-traumatic embitterment syndrome. That’s reason enough for researches to study how to treat the destructive emotion of bitterness.

- Los Angeles Times 

Special Friends

No man has a greater host of friends than I. Of an evening, some will take me on high adventure. Through icy blasts and over frozen regions we will journey. I will be numb with cold, and my eyes will ache from the unrelenting glare of sun on eternal white. Then again occasion, in torrid lands we will travel, each cutting and hacking his way through the green hell, as savage eyes peer out at us from the dismal darkness of the shadows. 

Some of these companions of mine, of a night, will choose to leave the confines of this earth. With them I will vault into space. They stop at the moon, push their way through its moribund canyons, and thence they swirl and dance with the nebulae as I breathlessly keep pace. Never a night the same. Others of this host lead me into the past to silently witness sacred ceremonies of the ancients. We dine with Caesar. We fight in the legions of Alexander the Great, or we tarry a while to listen to the deathless words of the sages who are gathered in the shadows of the Parthenon. 

My life is ever a full one, for my friends are full of spirit. Their resourcefulness is the capacity of all human thought and endeavour. These friends are ever near. Their escapades, lives and sentiments are just within the reach of my extended arm, for these friends are the treasured books upon my shelves. At attention they stand, a legion of personalities waiting to leap at my desire and serve my every mood and interest.

- Author Unknown

On Living Longer

Those who are slightly on the heavy side would be please to read the following news. It’s all right to be slightly chubby after all. 

Health experts have long warned of the risk of obesity, but a new Japanese study warns that being very skinny is even more dangerous, and that slightly chubby people live longer.

People who are a little overweight at age 40 live six to seven years longer than very thin people, whose average life expectancy was shorter by some five years than that of obese people, the study found.

"We found skinny people run the highest risk," said Shinichi Kuriyama, an associate professor at Tohoku University's Graduate School of Medicine who worked on the long-term study of middle-aged and elderly people.

"We had expected thin people would show the shortest life expectancy but didn't expect the difference to be this large," he told AFP by telephone.

The study was conducted by a health ministry team led by Tohoku University professor Ichiro Tsuji and covered 50,000 people between the ages of 40 and 79 over 12 years in the northern Japanese prefecture of Miyagi.

"There had been an argument that thin people's lives are short because many of them are sick or smoke. But the difference was almost unchanged even when we eliminated these factors," Kuriyama said.

The main reasons for the shorter lifespan of skinny people were believed to include their heightened vulnerability to diseases such as pneumonia and the fragility of their blood vessels, he said.

But Prof Kuriyama warned he was not recommending people eat as much as they want.

"It's better that thin people try to gain normal weight, but we doubt it's good for people of normal physique to put on more fat," he said.

The study divided people into four weight classes at age 40 according to their body mass index, or BMI, calculated by dividing a person's weight in kilograms by their squared height in metres.

The normal range is 18.5 to 25, with thinness defined as under 18.5. A BMI of 25 to 30 was classed as slightly overweight and an index above 30 as obese.

- Agence France-Presse 

At A Murder Trial

              One of the defence witnesses at a murder trial years ago testified that the accused had not been out of anyone’s sight and had the opportunity to commit murder for a matter of “only two or three minutes.”

              The district attorney then turned to the jury and said, “Gentlemen, here is my watch which I hold before you. We shall all pause, not for three minutes, but for only two minutes, and you may judge what could have been done by the defendant in that space of time.”

              As the jury waited for one hundred and twenty seconds, the time seemed to drag on forever.

              The final verdict: guilty!

Don't Be Fooled By Me

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled. I give the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the waters are calm and I am in command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me, please. My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. 'Neath this lies no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That is why I frantically create a mask to hide behind; a nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation. And I know it. That is, if it is followed by acceptance, if it is followed by love. It is the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I am worth something. But, I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I am afraid to. I am afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I am afraid you will think less of me, that you will laugh at me, and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, of what is crying within me; So when I am going through my routine do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. What I would like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but I can't say. I dislike hiding, Honestly! I dislike the superficial game I am playing, the phony game. I would really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me, but you have got to help me. You have got to hold out your hand, even when that is the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes that blank stare of breathing death. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you try to understand and because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be the creator of the person that is me if you choose to. Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty; From my lonely person. Do not pass me by. Please . . . do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you; a long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back. I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than walls, and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet. 

- Charles C. Finn 

Trivia

Here are some facts about the 1500's: However, I can't guarantee the accuracy of all the points. :-)

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.”

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw - piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, “It's raining cats and dogs.” 

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how four-poster canopy beds came into existence. 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying “a thresh hold.” 

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.” 

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat. 

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. 

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake. 

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

Shyness

Another article on Shyness 

A shy person wants very much social success — wants to be liked by other people but is afraid to make the first step. Behind his or her timid behaviour hides an inner storm. Shy people continually think of themselves in a negative way and are excessively preoccupied with what others think of them. Instead of simply meeting and talking with friends, they wildly build plans about how to make a favourable impression on them. At the same time they are so worried that they actually begin to experience physical symptoms of stress — their adrenaline rushes, their heart accelerates and their whole body prepares to flee. 

Shy people should not be confused with introverts — persons who are focused on their inner world, who prefer solitude by their very nature. Introverts know how to be with others, are not afraid to socialize and have a healthy sense of self-esteem which is necessary for successful interaction among people but they are content to be alone. Shy people, however, like very much to be with others but they lack the social skills and the self-esteem to accomplish this. 

Shyness has many unpleasant consequences: it is difficult for shy people to meet people and start new friendships. This frequently leads to loneliness and even depression. Shy people have difficulty thinking clearly in the presence of others. They often behave in a conceited way or as if they are not interested in others while they are simply worried about possible rejection. They constantly obsess about everything associated with their behaviour and appearance. Shy people are so shy that they can be intimidated by their own shyness. Their main trouble is that they spend so much time on their self-preoccupation that they have no time or interest to look outside. (Please note that the shy person may not be conscious of his or her behaviour as described above.) 

On a positive note, shy people frequently have a gift of knowing how to listen to others. It is easy for them to learn to pay attention to and empathize with others. They usually have close and loyal friends who value and respect them. And we always need people who know how to hear us out. 

- Source Unknown 

Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. - André Dubus 

The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid. - Lady Bird Johnson 

Shyness

An article on Shyness.

Shyness plagues millions of people every day. It invades all professions. Age, socio-economic status and race matter not. 

What is shyness? 

Shyness is a complex combination of feelings and behaviours that each person experiences in his own unique way. Though the intensity may vary from one person to another, most consider it an experience they would rather do without. 

A shy person is defined as ‘an individual who consistently has difficulty making conversation with others or experiences severe physical symptoms of anxiety in social situations. 

For the majority of people, shyness means occasional awkward feelings in certain situations, such as when asking for a raise, meeting new people, or speaking before a group. This type of shyness is due to low self-confidence and a lack of social skills. 

For others, however, shyness may mean a tremendous anxiety that is life disrupting. The chronically shy may find themselves prisoners of their shyness and experience great anxiety and physical discomfort. In its most extreme form, shyness can result in depression and suicide. 

Many shy people experience a painful self-consciousness; a concern about one’s effect on others one’s appearance, or making a good impression. It may involve feelings of inferiority – that one is stupid, ugly, or not as deserving as others; it may cause a person to feel tongue-tied and awkward in social situations. 

The physical symptoms of shyness may include blushing, butterflies, weak knees, jerky body movements, nervous perspiration, and rapid heartbeat. The shy person’s self-consciousness merely aggravates the situation – by concentrating on the symptoms, they frequently become worse, leaving him flustered and embarrassed. 

Shy people are probably their own worst critics. Many see others as constantly evaluating them in a negative way. They often set unrealistically high standards for themselves, which only contribute to feelings of inadequacy. 

It is difficult for a shy person to initiate conversation. So much easier, it seems, to remain quiet rather than risk speaking poorly and making a fool of oneself. Thus, shyness makes it hard to meet new people and make friends, which often leads to feelings of loneliness and depression. 

Many people managed to conceal their shyness. They may still suffer inwardly, but through practice and concentrated effort they appear calm instead of nervous, and are able to function well in public. 

How to overcome shyness? 

Shyness can be overcome. With time and dedicated effort, change is definitely possible! By building a series of successful interactions with others, your self-confidence will increase, your shyness diminish, and your relationships lengthen and deepen in trust. 

The first step is to convince yourself that change is possible, and then dedicate your efforts to making it happen. 

Learn to relax in a 'threatening' situation. Breathing slowly and deeply will help you overcome initial anxiety. If you stay with the frightening situation and do not flee, your fear will subside. 

Smile, make eye contact and give compliments. 

A smile says that you are positively disposed to others. People will notice your smile and will smile back at you. A sad or lowered gaze tells others that you are in a bad mood and do not wish to socialize. 

Looking in the eyes of others shows that you are interested in them and are paying attention to them. Give compliments — people will feel good around you and, therefore, also about being with you. Learn to accept compliments: offer thanks and return the compliment immediately. Then use the moment to begin a real conversation. 

Stop expecting the worst. 

Dark thoughts are emotionally unsettling — they make you nervous and confused causing you to forget what you were trying to say. Fear tends to exaggerate things: therefore, the sooner you jump into the situation you fear, the sooner you will notice that it is much easier on you than you imagined and that much sooner you will understand how unnecessary your dark forebodings were. 

Stop beating yourself up emotionally. 

Every time you meet others, dark thoughts go through your head: "What a stupid thing to say!" "No one likes me!" No one judges you as strictly as you do yourself! Do just the opposite: search for signs that disprove your negative thoughts about yourself. 

Stop demanding perfection from yourself. 

Some of your jokes will not be funny, some of your comments will not be insightful. Your problem is that you expect so much of yourself and fear so much that you will not live up to your own expectations that you condemn yourself to a constant failure. Assign yourself more realistic goals. 

Learn to accept rejection. 

Rejection is a natural risk — everyone in society is exposed to it. Do not take it personally — refusal to socialize with you may not be connected with your perceived faults or behaviour at all. 

Finally, the most important thing that you need to overcome your shyness is to break through your self-centeredness. When you socialize with others pay attention to them and not to your timidity. If after meeting you people think ‘it was so nice to be around him/her’ then you have transformed your shyness into social competence. 

- Source Unknown 

Do Eyes Need A Workout?

The claim: Eye exercises can enhance your vision.

The facts: For almost a century, eye exercises have been promoted as a way to strengthen vision and ease near-sightedness and astigmatism, much like exercise for the body trims fat and improves health.

              Some of the most popular techniques include eye-hand coordination drills, eye movement routines and caucusing on blinking lights.

              The techniques are widely promoted online and advocated by various companies. Some even claim that they can reduce the need for glasses and ease learning disabilities.

              However, several studies have concluded that many of these do-it-yourself techniques are baseless.

              One of the latest studies, published this year, found little evidence in support of vision exercises that supposedly slow or reduce myopia, ease dyslexia and correct conditions caused by physiological problems, like blurred vision.

              A similar conclusion was reached in a 2005 report that reviewed 43 previous studies finding no clear scientific evidence for most of the methods reviewed.

              There are some areas of vision therapy thought that have been scientifically validated, including one called orthoptics.

              In this therapy, eye doctors prescribe exercises that can relieve double vision, focus problems and conditions like strabismus, also known as crossed eyes.

             Orthoptics can treat convergence insufficiency, in which the eyes have trouble working together. It affects as many as one in five people, but with the right exercises it can be all but cured, studies show.

The bottom line: Eye exercise are useful for some problems, but they do not seem to relieve myopia or dyslexia.

- The New York Times 

What Would The Neighbours Think?

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’’ 

“Probably that I married you for your money,’’ she replied.

Swallow's Love

A heartrending story of a swallow’s love. Sad, very sad!

Here its wife is injured and the condition is fatal. She was hit by a car earlier as she swooped low across the road.

Here he brought her food and attended to her with love and compassion.

He brought her food again but was shocked to find her dead. He tried to move her....a rarely-seen effort for swallows!

Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again, he cries with adoring love.

He stood beside her, saddened of her death.. .still crying

Finally aware that she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with sadness and sorrow.

And many people think animals don't have a brain or feelings.

An Attack Of The Blues

Moods are elusive things and they afflict everybody in some shape or form. The only difference is that some of us are more aware of them and managed to control them better than others.

No matter how fortunate or how lucky we are, there are times when life gets us down. It is not always the result of coping with problems and people and our various ups-and-downs, but a feeling deep inside us of restlessness and apprehension.

We may feel discouraged and depressed for no apparent reason; dissatisfied with ourselves and our lives, uncertain of people, and unsure of the future. Like the weather, a ‘fit of blues’, as we often call it, can come upon us quite suddenly taking us out of the sunshine of happiness into a cloud of gloom.

Usually, it does not last long, but departs just as suddenly as other people and the things we have to do distract our attention from ourselves. In the hustle-bustle of life we can carry on being busy without admitting these things to ourselves. 

It is possible, however, to find it happening more frequently and lasting longer and becoming harder and harder to throw off – especially if we are naturally moody individuals.

Small temporary frustrations they may be, but if left to itself, ‘a fit of blues’ will persuade us to think about all the miserable things, the unpleasant people and our failures.

Hence, when we have ‘an attack of the blues’, the first step is to recognize it for what it is – a temporary condition where you feel low, and out of sorts. This might last a day or two and it will disappear as suddenly as it appears.

The next step would be to keep your mind off the situation by engaging in activities which require your attention or concentration. Go to the movies, call up your friends, go for a swim, or a jog. Get busy, do something. 

Whatever you do, do not dwell on the situation. It will only make you feel worse. If you must know what is happening and why it is happening, understand that it is your bio-rhythm at work. 

Just as there are days when we feel great for no apparent reason, there will be days when we fell terrible for no apparent reason. It is all part and parcel of our emotional build up. It afflicts us all, and this will happen throughout our lives.

Inevitably, the ‘fit of blues’ will leave you in a day or two and all will return to normal.

Choose You This Day

Choice. What choices do we have and what do we do with these choices? We can ponder endlessly how much life is predetermined, how we are limited by heredity, intellect, social status, environment, economics. That is not the issue here; nor do I believe that it is important. However limited the choices, what matters is what we do with the choices we have. 

I believe we have a great deal of choice; that most of us do not make the most of these choices and that we tend to live our lives based on other people’s decisions and expectations. I believe that too often we lack the courage to act on our decisions. I believe this freedom to choose is one of the most important aspects of our lives, and that to act responsibly on those choices determines the success or failure of our lives. 

All choice combines freedom with responsibility; they are inseparable. We pay a price for all our decisions and our indecisions, but we have the individual freedom to determine for ourselves when the price is too high. 

Each day bring new opportunities for choice. Each day brings countless decisions to be made. I submit that all choices matter and that the potential for a better life is all around us. It is by the choices we make – the large, the small, the important, and the seemingly trivial, that we determine who we are and the quality of our lives. I believe we become the sum of our choices. 

Let’s talk about choice and some of the areas in which we can exercise our freedom to choose. 

We can choose love. We can decide who matters in our life; we can nurture the relationships we care about. We can make time for the people we love. We can find new people to love. 

Choose to have more love in your life. 

We can choose health – both mental and physical. Again, we choose not from our limitations, but from the freedom we do have. We can choose not to abuse our bodies, how we spend our days. We can choose not to whine about imagined aches and pains. 

Choose good health. 

We can choose to be happy. If you are unhappy, it is your fault. It is your responsibility, no one else’s. If you permit someone to make you unhappy, you choose to do so. I believe we are most influenced by other people in this area; only you know what makes you happiest. 

Choose to be happy. 

We can choose to have fun, to be spontaneous. We can choose to dream. In the words from South Pacific, “If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?” 

Dream your own dream. 

I would persuade you to make choices and have the courage to act on those choices. Remember that choice means to select the best part, to discard that which is not. I would persuade you to make deletions in your life. If someone consistently makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, why are they a part of your life? If you are unhappy with your life, are you looking for ways to make it better? 

Choose what you want in your life and what you do not. 

All choices involve responsibility for those choices. We have to pay our dues. I believe in choice for myself. I believe in choice for other people. I believe we have the right and the freedom to make our own decisions – not from selfish motivations, but from our own uniqueness and integrity. 

We become the sum of our choices. It is your choice..... 

- Jean Cole Stayton 

Stress: Give Vent – Or Just Let Go

Stress, one of the risk factors in heart disease, can be turned into “new energy”. 

The way you handle stress dictates whether you are going to be fired up with energy or constantly suffering fatigue. 

The number one way to energize your body is to tackle stress effectively so that it no longer drains you emotionally and physically. 

As you solve one stress inducing situation your life, your body is fired up with new energy to beat the next stressful situation, and so on. It has a snowball effect. 

First, recognize the fact that you are being affected by stress. Many people do not realize that various physical symptoms are related to some type of stress they are under. 

The most common symptoms suffered by people overloaded with stress are fatigue, muscular aches and pains, headaches, indigestion, bowel cramps, irregular heartbeat and rapid heartbeat. Most feel drained of energy. 

If you are going through a period where you feel you cannot cope with life, and you notice these symptoms starting to occur, you are likely suffering form acute stress. 

Next, identify the cause of your stress. 

Take a close look at current situations in your life. Chances are you will be able to pinpoint a problem that is triggering your stress. 

Take action to dispose of your stress. Talk about your problem with a close friend. Face the stress-causing situation head on – do not run away from it. 

You can displace your anger, too, by cussing a golf ball or yelling at the cat. You do not have to punch somebody out to blow off steam. 

If situations where you cannot show your anger, get away from the stress-causing situation for a while. Take a break, walk around the corner. 

If you can physically remove yourself from the stressful situation, you can minimize its effects on you. This is one of the best therapies for relieving stress. 

When you are faced with a serious problem, do not try to solve it all at once. Take one step at a time. You will ultimately be able to resolve the problem. 

To make it easier to tackle the problems causing your stress, you should take good care of your body. Eat properly, get enough rest, avoid pushing yourself to physical and emotional limits, and exercise. 

Place stressful factors in perspective. Do not agonize over stress-causing situations you cannot control. For instance, if you lose a loved one or friend, do not let it gnaw away at you for months and months. Realize you cannot bring the person back – and get on with your life. 

Also, do not waste time worrying about problems that really are not serious. Stand back and ask yourself whether another person would allow that particular situation to cause them anxiety. Often you will realize that you are overacting. 

Do not resort to alcohol or drugs when you are under stress. These only compound the stress. When the drugs or alcohol wears off, the stressful situation is still there. 

Avoid doing anything to hurt yourself as a response to stress. Vent your stress in a non-harmful way. 

Following these steps is the number one way to turn stress into energy. Not only will it give you the strength and resolve to handle stressful situations – it also will dramatically reduce those occasions when you suffer the symptoms of stress. 

- Source Unknown 

Marathons May Cause Heart Damage

There is good news and bad news to report about marathon runners and their hearts. Previous research had shown cardiac irregularities in some more inexperienced runners after a race.

A new study, presented recently at the International Conference of the American Thoracic Society in San Diego, appears to be the first to use cardiac, magnetic resonance imaging (CMRI) after a marathon to test for heart injury. CMRI allows physicians to assess cardiac function and health.

Researchers from the University of Manitoba in Canada studied 14 casual runners who ran in the 2008 Manitoba Marathon. They were tested before the race for cardiac biomarkers that revealed the health of their hearts. After the race, they were given additional blood tests, plus echocardiograms and CMRIs.

The bad news: Results of the echocardiograms and CMRIs immediately after the race showed abnormalities on both sides of the heart. Also, the pumping capabilities of the right ventricle went from 64 per cent to 43 per cent.

The good news: Even tough cardiac biomarkers were irregular after the marathon, researchers concluded that there was no sign of permanent injury to the muscle.

Plans are in the works by the researchers to conduct further studies to see if these abnormalities cause any permanent damage in people who run more than one marathon a year. 

- Los Angeles Times 

Reality And Imaginary

              A noted archbishop once asked an actor this question: “Can you tell me why actors can make people feel as if all that transpires on the stage is reality, while we in the church seem to give people the impression that what we are talking about is imaginary?”

              The actor replied, “Why really, I don’t know. Unless we actors speak of things imaginary as if they were real; while you in the pulpit speak of things real as if they were imaginary.”

The Girl's Dilemma

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.

The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. 

Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. 

The cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. And the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag. 

If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail. 

All the villagers were standing on a pebble-strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. 

The sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. 

He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag. 

Now, imagine you were standing in the field. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities: 

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat. 

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment. 

Take a moment to ponder over the story. 

The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers. 

What would you recommend to the girl to do?

Well, this was what she did……

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked." 

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one. 

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think. 

Charisma

People who radiate magnetism are closely in touch with their senses and their deepest, rawest emotions. They’re not necessarily always what is called ‘gentlemanly,’ or ‘ladylike,’ but they are human, honest and very much alive. And very few people are immune to their attraction.

You were born with the capacity to be imaginative, inquisitive, creative, exciting. You have the potential to radiate that strange and nearly irresistible quality. But you may be afraid that it may make a mockery of ‘refinement.’ And, as a result, you miss out on an untold wealth of experience and pleasure.

You have probably worried so much about what others think of you that you have managed to lose every shred of individuality and imaginativeness you ever possessed.

Freeing your imagination means recovering that youthfulness or spirit that you once had. It means being your unique self without worrying about what you’re ‘supposed’ to be for your age, or your position in the world. It doesn’t take any special skills or tricks. Simply free your senses; let them enjoy all the experiences life has to offer.

People will be swept along with you if you can get in touch with your repressed imaginative powers. It is something everyone is really dying to do. So be the leader. Be the one who starts a song session at a party, who suggests a picnic lunch in the park. Be the one to dress as the spirit moves you. The one who isn’t afraid to get up and dance, to be silly or to sit quietly in an armchair by the fire and dream.

Plunge without fear into the repressed regions of your mind; open up conversation with the inner you, the imaginative, creative, emotional you. You may well find wild contradictions there; inside you there may a sage and a clown, a mountain-climber and a mystic, a beach bum and an intrepid explorer. That’s okay. There is no eternal law that says you have to be consistent. 

You are really many people. Discover them all; get acquainted with the many facets of your personality. You’ll be refreshed, inspired. Other people will be fascinated and attracted to you. And more important, they will be inspired by you. By showing them the power and the breadth and the excitement of your imagination, you will help them discover their own.

Here are some areas you have to work on if you want to radiate magneticism, if you want to be charismatic:

a) Your conversations

b) Your emotions

c) Taking risks

Conversations

Life is too short to waste doing meaningless things! If you want your social life to be more interesting and exciting, if you want to get more stimulation out of life and people, and if you hope to be more attractive to others; to be someone who is remembered, admired, liked, desired – get rid of the whole concept that conversation has to be polite and inoffensive.

When you’re with others especially with people you don’t know too well and on whom you want to make a positive impression, you probably repress at least 75 percent of the things that come to your mind – because your built-in censor tells you that there are vulgar, crazy, hurtful, provocative, etc. Of course, the censor can’t be completely inoperative – there are some things that shouldn’t be said – but as a rule, that little blue pencil crosses out much too much. 

You are probably over-careful, you bend over backwards in order to avoid giving offence or giving ‘the wrong impression’, and as a result it’s often only the most banal, insipid, meaningless things that get said. You have to go a lot further than you think you do in breaking the rules of ‘polite’ conversation in order to get into trouble.

You don’t have to believe it: just try it. Express yourself honestly and freely; don’t bottle up your feelings in the service of some unwritten code of polite conversation. Polite conversation is really non-conversation. 

Breaking through the inane trivia of small talk always makes an impression. People will remember you. Of course, if you sit and make small talk with someone for an entire evening, they may well remember you also, simple because they’ve spent a long time with you. But they won’t remember what you’ve said, because there will have been nothing to set you apart from a hundred or a thousand other people. After hours of talk, you won’t know them, and they won’t know you.

People who are gutsy enough to say what they feel come across as decisive, forceful, positive – as someone to be reckoned with. Words can make a beautiful, dynamic person out of one who is quite average-looking.

The first attraction may come through the eyes, but people almost never remain attracted for long unless there’s more to someone than just a pretty façade. Your words – what you choose to say, and the way you say it – express your personality.

Don’t limit your vocabulary – that’s boring. Explore new words; words you like the sound of, that have special meanings for you, that express precisely the shade of meaning you’ve been looking for.

Words are uniquely human. They’re your greatest tool in connecting with others and making yourself interesting to others. Use them! Do not be afraid and too inhibited to let your words express you. 

Emotions

It’s often been said that someone deeply in love radiates an inner beauty. This isn’t just poetic overstatement. It is literally true. 

Strong emotion like love, joy, anger, and excitement can have an effect, not only on your face, but also on your movement, posture and bearing. It can change a person’s whole appearance.

You probably keep your emotions tightly in check when you are with other people.

From the constant habit of restraining those emotions, eventually you begin to lose your capacity to feel them. Your ‘public’ self – the ordinary, calm, businesslike image that you think is the ‘safe’ one to show to the world – starts to block the inner self, the feeling self, not only from the public but also from your own consciousness. You lose touch with your own reality. You become a plastic person – neatly packaged, antiseptic, and not really alive.

Have you really ever allowed yourself, since you became an adult, to feel as deeply and completely as you could when you are a child? When’s the last time your whole being was swept up in something – a cause, a belief, and experience, a person? When’s the last time you got up at dawn and felt the mystery and wonder of the world’s reawakening? Or lost yourself in the rapture of love? Or knew there was something so important to you that you would willingly sacrifice everything for it.

Watch the faces of the people you know. See what happens to the ones who permit themselves to show emotion. Happiness, love, excitement, brings about a visible – and positive – change in the features. Their eyes glow, their cheeks blaze, they look powerful and commanding. 

To be alive means to be warm, vibrant, and passionate. The next time you find yourself feeling a strong emotion, don’t turn it off, even if you’re with other people. Allow it to happen. Allow yourself to feel deeply, and then to show that feeling – to laugh or weep or clap your hands in joy. 

People are always drawn to those who aren’t afraid to let themselves feel, who add drama and excitement to life, who give them that rush of sensation, that shock that reminds them that they, too, can be more fully alive. They are swept along by those who are wide open to life, as though on the crest of a wave – they want to join you, to participate in the funny, crazy, sad, beautiful experiences of life, if someone will only show them the way.

Taking Risks

Taking risks is scary. But if you are willing to take a risk, to do something that frightens you, you will excite and stimulate people, and set their blood racing in a way that the dull, secure plodder can never hope to do.

Taking risks, after all, is what life is all about. Everyone who has ever taken a job, gone on a trip, embarked on any kind of enterprise whatever, has taken a risk. Most people take only the risks that are an integral part of living, that can’t be avoided.

Do something that frightens you; choose something that you’ve wanted to do, but have been reluctant because it frightens or threatens you. Make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to do it - whether it’s calling someone you’re attracted to but who intimidates you, or asking for a raise, starting a conversation with a stranger, or whatever. 

Watch your reactions as you do this frightening thing. Let yourself experience the fear; don’t try to turn it off or avoid it. Live through it. You will realize that it hasn’t killed you, that you’re intact, maybe even exhilarated for having survived it. And the next time, you will probably be able to meet a challenge with more confidence.

Learning to take risks can be mind-opening and life-expanding experience. When you are able to do things you’re afraid of, your self-confidence will jump 100 percent. It will show in your expression, in the way you carry yourself, the way you behave toward others.

Most of the risks that you’re afraid of are probably small things: Taking a new job, going back to school, calling the person you’re attracted to, speaking out in public, taking a trip alone. Because of the fears and lack of confidence, they often loom larger in your mind than trekking across the Sahara.

Success or failure may not be the most important thing. It’s your willingness to risk that will make you a more attractive dynamic interesting person.

- Source Unknown

Banish Bad Breath With Parsley?

The claim: Eating parsley can eliminate bad breath.

The facts: People have long tried to freshen their breath with parsley.

              Its fresh, strong flavour would seem to make it a natural deodorizer. And its deep green colour is a sign of ample chlorophyll, which is thought to have some antibacterial properties. (The sulphur compounds that give rise to bad breath are produced by various strains of bacteria that feast on food deposits and other debris in the back of the mouth.)

              However, researchers who have looked into this particular folk remedy have found little evidence that it works. Studies that have examined its effects in the mouth have found that while it may have some small initial effect on odour – mostly by masking it – parsley odes little to reduce the concentration of volatile sulphur compounds.

              One unlikely food that has been shown to reduce levels of sulphur compounds, however, is green tea, although the effect may be temporary, lasting no more than an hour or two.

              Mouthwashes can be effective when they contain two ingredients in particular: zinc and chlorhexidine.

              However, those that contain alcohol may make the problem worse by drying the mouth. Several studies have also identified a number of other factors that contribute to bad breath, including being overweight, drinking heavily and smoking.

The bottom line: There is little evidence that parsley can counteract bad breath.

- The New York Times