Friday, 5 June 2009


People who radiate magnetism are closely in touch with their senses and their deepest, rawest emotions. They’re not necessarily always what is called ‘gentlemanly,’ or ‘ladylike,’ but they are human, honest and very much alive. And very few people are immune to their attraction.

You were born with the capacity to be imaginative, inquisitive, creative, exciting. You have the potential to radiate that strange and nearly irresistible quality. But you may be afraid that it may make a mockery of ‘refinement.’ And, as a result, you miss out on an untold wealth of experience and pleasure.

You have probably worried so much about what others think of you that you have managed to lose every shred of individuality and imaginativeness you ever possessed.

Freeing your imagination means recovering that youthfulness or spirit that you once had. It means being your unique self without worrying about what you’re ‘supposed’ to be for your age, or your position in the world. It doesn’t take any special skills or tricks. Simply free your senses; let them enjoy all the experiences life has to offer.

People will be swept along with you if you can get in touch with your repressed imaginative powers. It is something everyone is really dying to do. So be the leader. Be the one who starts a song session at a party, who suggests a picnic lunch in the park. Be the one to dress as the spirit moves you. The one who isn’t afraid to get up and dance, to be silly or to sit quietly in an armchair by the fire and dream.

Plunge without fear into the repressed regions of your mind; open up conversation with the inner you, the imaginative, creative, emotional you. You may well find wild contradictions there; inside you there may a sage and a clown, a mountain-climber and a mystic, a beach bum and an intrepid explorer. That’s okay. There is no eternal law that says you have to be consistent.

You are really many people. Discover them all; get acquainted with the many facets of your personality. You’ll be refreshed, inspired. Other people will be fascinated and attracted to you. And more important, they will be inspired by you. By showing them the power and the breadth and the excitement of your imagination, you will help them discover their own.

Here are some areas you have to work on if you want to radiate magneticism, if you want to be charismatic:
a) Your conversations
b) Your emotions
c) Taking risks

Life is too short to waste doing meaningless things! If you want your social life to be more interesting and exciting, if you want to get more stimulation out of life and people, and if you hope to be more attractive to others; to be someone who is remembered, admired, liked, desired – get rid of the whole concept that conversation has to be polite and inoffensive.

When you’re with others especially with people you don’t know too well and on whom you want to make a positive impression, you probably repress at least 75 percent of the things that come to your mind – because your built-in censor tells you that there are vulgar, crazy, hurtful, provocative, etc. Of course, the censor can’t be completely inoperative – there are some things that shouldn’t be said – but as a rule, that little blue pencil crosses out much too much.

You are probably over-careful, you bend over backwards in order to avoid giving offence or giving ‘the wrong impression’, and as a result it’s often only the most banal, insipid, meaningless things that get said. You have to go a lot further than you think you do in breaking the rules of ‘polite’ conversation in order to get into trouble.

You don’t have to believe it: just try it. Express yourself honestly and freely; don’t bottle up your feelings in the service of some unwritten code of polite conversation. Polite conversation is really non-conversation.

Breaking through the inane trivia of small talk always makes an impression. People will remember you. Of course, if you sit and make small talk with someone for an entire evening, they may well remember you also, simple because they’ve spent a long time with you. But they won’t remember what you’ve said, because there will have been nothing to set you apart from a hundred or a thousand other people. After hours of talk, you won’t know them, and they won’t know you.

People who are gutsy enough to say what they feel come across as decisive, forceful, positive – as someone to be reckoned with. Words can make a beautiful, dynamic person out of one who is quite average-looking.

The first attraction may come through the eyes, but people almost never remain attracted for long unless there’s more to someone than just a pretty façade. Your words – what you choose to say, and the way you say it – express your personality.

Don’t limit your vocabulary – that’s boring. Explore new words; words you like the sound of, that have special meanings for you, that express precisely the shade of meaning you’ve been looking for.

Words are uniquely human. They’re your greatest tool in connecting with others and making yourself interesting to others. Use them! Do not be afraid and too inhibited to let your words express you.

It’s often been said that someone deeply in love radiates an inner beauty. This isn’t just poetic overstatement. It is literally true.

Strong emotion like love, joy, anger, and excitement can have an effect, not only on your face, but also on your movement, posture and bearing. It can change a person’s whole appearance.

You probably keep your emotions tightly in check when you are with other people.

From the constant habit of restraining those emotions, eventually you begin to lose your capacity to feel them. Your ‘public’ self – the ordinary, calm, businesslike image that you think is the ‘safe’ one to show to the world – starts to block the inner self, the feeling self, not only from the public but also from your own consciousness. You lose touch with your own reality. You become a plastic person – neatly packaged, antiseptic, and not really alive.

Have you really ever allowed yourself, since you became an adult, to feel as deeply and completely as you could when you are a child? When’s the last time your whole being was swept up in something – a cause, a belief, and experience, a person? When’s the last time you got up at dawn and felt the mystery and wonder of the world’s reawakening? Or lost yourself in the rapture of love? Or knew there was something so important to you that you would willingly sacrifice everything for it.

Watch the faces of the people you know. See what happens to the ones who permit themselves to show emotion. Happiness, love, excitement, brings about a visible – and positive – change in the features. Their eyes glow, their cheeks blaze, they look powerful and commanding.

To be alive means to be warm, vibrant, and passionate. The next time you find yourself feeling a strong emotion, don’t turn it off, even if you’re with other people. Allow it to happen. Allow yourself to feel deeply, and then to show that feeling – to laugh or weep or clap your hands in joy.

People are always drawn to those who aren’t afraid to let themselves feel, who add drama and excitement to life, who give them that rush of sensation, that shock that reminds them that they, too, can be more fully alive. They are swept along by those who are wide open to life, as though on the crest of a wave – they want to join you, to participate in the funny, crazy, sad, beautiful experiences of life, if someone will only show them the way.

Taking risks is scary. But if you are willing to take a risk, to do something that frightens you, you will excite and stimulate people, and set their blood racing in a way that the dull, secure plodder can never hope to do.

Taking risks, after all, is what life is all about. Everyone who has ever taken a job, gone on a trip, embarked on any kind of enterprise whatever, has taken a risk. Most people take only the risks that are an integral part of living, that can’t be avoided.

Do something that frightens you; choose something that you’ve wanted to do, but have been reluctant because it frightens or threatens you. Make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to do it - whether it’s calling someone you’re attracted to but who intimidates you, or asking for a raise, starting a conversation with a stranger, or whatever.

Watch your reactions as you do this frightening thing. Let yourself experience the fear; don’t try to turn it off or avoid it. Live through it. You will realize that it hasn’t killed you, that you’re intact, maybe even exhilarated for having survived it. And the next time, you will probably be able to meet a challenge with more confidence.

Learning to take risks can be mind-opening and life-expanding experience. When you are able to do things you’re afraid of, your self-confidence will jump 100 percent. It will show in your expression, in the way you carry yourself, the way you behave toward others.

Most of the risks that you’re afraid of are probably small things: Taking a new job, going back to school, calling the person you’re attracted to, speaking out in public, taking a trip alone. Because of the fears and lack of confidence, they often loom larger in your mind than trekking across the Sahara.

Success or failure may not be the most important thing. It’s your willingness to risk that will make you a more attractive dynamic interesting person.

- Source Unknown

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