Sunday, 2 August 2009


Wanting to put up a sign? Or writing an instruction? You should double check how you phrase it, in case it ended up with a different meaning, or sounding stupid. 

Outside a disco:
Smart is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.

Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.

Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car.

On a bread pudding: 
Product will be hot after heating.

On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock - the bell doesn’t work).

On packaging for a iron: 
Do not iron clothes on body.

On a children’s cough medicine: 
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

On a sleep aid: 
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On most brands of Christmas lights: 
For indoor or outdoor use only.

In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

Outside a second-hand shop: 
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

In a Hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. 

Notice sent to resident of a parish:
Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

In a guide to setting up a new computer: 
To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the Box).

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