Wanting to put up a sign? Or writing an instruction? You should double check how you phrase it, in case it ended up with a different meaning, or sounding stupid.
Outside a disco:
Smart is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car.
On a bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock - the bell doesn’t work).
On packaging for a iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On a children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On a sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
Outside a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
In a Hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Notice sent to resident of a parish:
Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
In a guide to setting up a new computer:
To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the Box).