Wanting to put up a sign? Or writing an instruction? You should double check how you phrase it, in case it ended up with a different meaning, or sounding stupid.
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
On a peanut jam:
Warning: Contains peanuts.
On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Advertisement for donkey rides:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
A laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
At a Cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Doctors office:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
Drop your trousers here for the best results.
On a road:
Take notice: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
On a poster:
Are you an adult that cannot read? If so we can help.
In a City restaurant:
Open seven days a week and weekends.
A hotel's rules and regulations:
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.
In a Hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
A sign posted in a Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest Camping Site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.