His Secret

              A woman walked up to a shrivelled little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. 

              “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look.” She said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” 

              “I smoke three packets of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also do a gram of Charlie a day, a spiff every night, a case of whisky a week, eat junk food, and never exercise, and do pills on the week end.” 

              “That’s amazing,” said the woman, “How old are you?”

              “Twenty-three,” he said.