The octogenarian went to his doctor complaining that he had felt under the weather for quite some time. “I guess it’s old age creeping up on me. What can you do about it, Doc?” he wanted to know.
“Listen, I can’t perform miracles,” the doctor replied. “I can’t make you young again.”
“I’m not asking you to make me young again,” snorted the old-timer. “I just want to make sure I keep on getting old.”
A man bought a horse from a farmer, but had not yet made any payment. One day he met the farmer on the street.
“I’m not at all pleased with that horse,” he complained bitterly.
“What’s the problem?” the farmer asked.
“Well, he can’t hold his head up,” said the man.
“Oh, that’s just pride,” replied the farmer, “once he’s paid for he’ll be fine!”
Two friends are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, what’cha got in th’ bag?”
“Jus’ some chickens.”
“If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?”
“Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them.”
“OK. Ummmmm . . . five?”