1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, But don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar,
And one was a salted.
4. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm,
And says: "A beer please, And one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially Inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
10. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
and says, "Dam!"
11. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
12. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."