Jokes

The Good News

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.

Patient: Give me the good news.

Doctor: They are going to name a disease after you.

Advertising

“Too much advertising is the reason my business went under,” said one merchant to another.

“But you never spent anything on advertising. How is that possible?” the second merchant wanted to know.

“That’s just it,” replied the first. “My competitor did, though.”

I am dying

Husband texts to wife on cell.. 

"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."