Monday, 6 January 2014

Glorious Insults

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Some of them anyway.

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My silence doesn’t mean I agree with your statement … it’s just that the level of your ignorance has rendered me speechless. - Unknown

Silent? Ah, he is silent! He can keep silence well. That man's silence is wonderful to listen to. - Thomas Hardy

Some people just need a sympathetic pat … on the head … with a hammer. - Unknown

Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for twenty minutes. - Unknown

Sometimes I need what only you can provide - your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant 

Stupidity is not a handicap in politics. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The problem with political jokes is that they get elected. - Unknown

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes. - William Shakespeare

Too coy to flatter, and too proud to serve, thine be the joyless dignity to starve. - Tobias Smollett

Too poor for a bribe, and too proud to importune, he had not the method of making a fortune. - Thomas Gray

We are in the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun. - Rowan Atkinson

When he is best, he is a little worse than a man; and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast. - William Shakespeare

What’s on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement? - Fred Allen

You are not paying me enough attention to notice that I am ignoring you. - Unknown

You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. - Rowan Atkinson

Your ignorance cramps my conversation. - Anthony Hope

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