Paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian (from Greek, meaning "beyond" and "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

            Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

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I don’t mind arguing with myself. It’s when I lose that it bothers me. - Richard Powers

I drink to make other people look more interesting. - Unknown

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. - Stephen Bishop

I found a concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it. You never know when you might need a nail. - Unknown

I hate two faced people, it makes it harder for me to decide which side to slap first. - Unknown

I hate writing, I love having written. - Dorothy Parker

I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes... - Philip Dusenberry

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. - Rodney Dangerfield  

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield  

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome Klapka Jerome

I love rumours. I always find out amazing things about myself that I never knew. - Unknown

I make it a policy to try never to make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way. After all, there’s always all kinds of new ways to make a complete idiot of myself. Why repeat the old ones? - Margot Dalton