Thursday, 22 September 2016

Definitions You Won’t See In The Dictionary

Adult: a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. - Unknown

Beauty Parlour: a place where women curl up and dye. - Unknown

Chickens: the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. - Unknown

Committee: a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. - Unknown

Consensus: everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. - Abba Eban

Egotist: a person who is usually me-deep in conversation. - Unknown

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. - Laurence J. Peter

Friendship: a ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul. - Ambrose Bierce

Infidel: in New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. - Ambrose Bierce

Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. - Unknown

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour. - Unknown

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. - Unknown

Love: a sentiment we all entertain for ourselves, and occasionally imagine others entertain for us. - Charles Edward Jerningham

Marriage: a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. - Unknown

No comments: