Adult: a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. - Unknown
Beauty Parlour: a place where women curl up and dye. - Unknown
Chickens: the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. - Unknown
Committee: a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. - Unknown
Consensus: everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. - Abba Eban
Egotist: a person who is usually me-deep in conversation. - Unknown
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. - Laurence J. Peter
Friendship: a ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul. - Ambrose Bierce
Infidel: in New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. - Ambrose Bierce
Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. - Unknown
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour. - Unknown
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. - Unknown
Love: a sentiment we all entertain for ourselves, and occasionally imagine others entertain for us. - Charles Edward Jerningham
Marriage: a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. - Unknown
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