Monday, 5 June 2017

Humorous Quotes

Good humour is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment. - Grenville Kleiser

There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it. - Scott Adams

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen Degeneres

I have a strict policy. I will not and do not publicize unsubstantiated rumours about anyone – unless they're very funny. - Jimmy Kimmel

My husband and I married for better or worse!! He couldn’t have done better and I couldn’t have done worse! - Rhonda

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Charles M. Schulz

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. - Bill Maher

The good news is, the stock market is closed and it can’t hurt us again until tomorrow. - Jay Leno

Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

It is easier to change a man's religion than to change his diet. - Margaret Mead

To "catch" a husband is an art; to "hold" him is a job. - Simone de Beauvoir

If the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social. - Woody Allen

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’

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