Humorous Quotes

If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. - Linda Sunshine

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty, and some see it crawling with toxic alien parasites who want to devour your pancreas. - James Alan Gardner

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of – but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. - Robert A. Heinlein

A man that is deeply in love with himself will probably succeed in his suit owing to a lack of rivals. - Austin O’Malley

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. - Dorothy Parker

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise. - Ted Turner

Of course, I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass! - Unknown

Exercise is quite majestic when seen from a distance. - Bauvard

Laziness prevents more crimes than morality. - Abraham Miller

Better to be strong than pretty and useless. - Lilith Saintcrow

Every jackass thinks he's got horse sense. - Ken Alstad

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