Humorous Quotes

As to dancing, my dear, I never dance, unless I am allowed to do it in my own peculiar way. There is no use trying to describe it: it has to be seen to be believed … Did you ever see the Rhinoceros, and the Hippopotamus, at the Zoological Gardens, trying to dance a minuet together? It is a touching sight. - Lewis Carroll

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. - Ray Romano

Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to rem ind each other that we're related for better or for worse and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum. - Rick Riordan

Getting married is like permanently grafting your hand to the cookie jar. No matter how sweet those cookies may taste, you can't help but wonder what would have happened if you'd chosen some other dessert – brownies, for instance, or frozen yogurt ... or maybe chocolate strudel. - Jerome P. Crabb

The Lawyers' trade is a trade built entirely on words. And so long as the lawyers carefully keep to themselves the key to what those words mean, the only way the average man can find out what is going on is to become a lawyer, or at least to study law, himself. All of which makes it very nice – and very secure – for the lawyers. Fred Rodell

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