Tuesday, 1 October 2019

Humorous Quotes

I am starting meetings at my house for people who have OCD. I don’t have it, I’m just hoping they’ll take one look and start cleaning. - Unknown

I don’t want to end the year on bad terms with anyone… So apologize to me. - Unknown

Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can, and will be used against you. So, use your right to remain silent. - Unknown

A lot of drugs are used by folks who think if you tinker with an empty head you can get it going. - Frank A. Clark

I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same. - Unknown

After all is said and done – along comes somebody who wants to know what happened. - Franklin P Jones

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

An Alibi is a reason with a bad reputation. - Doug Larson

Wear a smile. One size fits all. - Unknown

Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone, because they aren’t listening! - Unknown

Lord, give me patience… because if you give me strength, I’m gonna need bail money to go with it! - Unknown

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