When you take a long time, you are slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When you do not do it, you are lazy.
When your boss does not do it, he is too busy.
When you make a mistake, you are an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he is only human.
When doing something without being told, you are overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that is initiative.
When you take a stand, you are being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he is being firm.
When you overlook a rule of etiquette, you are being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he is being original.
When you please your boss, you are apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he is being co-operative.
When you are out of the office, you are wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he is on business.
When you are on a day off sick, you are always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it is because he is overworked.
When you get angry it is because you are ill-tempered.
When you boss gets angry, it just happens that his nerves are bothering him.
When you spend your pay-check in twenty four hours, it is because you are a spendthrift...
When you boss spends his pay-check in twenty four hours, it is because he is generous.
When you take a long time to do a job, it is because you are unbearably slow and pokey.
When you boss takes a long time to do a job, it is because he believes in quality workmanship.
When you do not like someone it is because you are prejudiced.
When your boss does not like someone, he just happens to be a good judge of human nature.
When you compliment people it is because you use flattery to get your way.
When you boss compliments people, he is encouraging them.
When you stay in bed until eleven am, it is because you are a lazy good-for-nothing...
When you boss stays in bed a little longer, it is because he is totally exhausted.