For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”
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A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter.’’
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.’’
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr Sugarbrown’s daughter?’’
She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”
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Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’’
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re fifty-two years old. And for another, you’re the principal.’’
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The mother enrolled her precocious six-year-old son at the new progressive school. When the school director interviewed the boy, he asked, “Are you a boy or a girl?”
The child immediately answered, “A girl.”
Quite taken back, the director then asked, “And when you grow up, will you be a man or a woman?”
The child answered, “A woman, of course.”
The alarmed director called a conference with the child’s mother and said, I’m afraid that your child is psychologically impaired and needs professional attention.”
On the way home, the mother calmly questioned her son: “Tommy, why did you say that you were a girl?”
Tommy answered: “When anyone asks me such a dumb question, they deserve a dumb answer.”
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A little girl asked her mother, “Can I go outside and play with the boys?”
Her mother replied, "”No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.”
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”
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Teacher: Simon, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
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Boy: Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.
Mother: That’s nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?
Boy: She just said, “Thank goodness!”
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Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Parent: What’s that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
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Said the small boy to the little girl sitting next to him in class, “Are you the opposite sex, or am I”
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