Sunday, 26 July 2009


Wanting to put up a sign? Or writing an instruction? You should double check how you phrase it, in case it ended up with a different meaning, or sounding stupid. 

On some frozen dinners: 
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a chain saw: 
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Spotted in a toilet in a office block:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

On an Airlines packet of nuts: 
Instruction: Open packet, eat nuts.

On a bar of soap: 
Directions: Use like regular soap.

In a hotel:
Sports jackets may be worn but no trousers.

In a bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a restaurant window: 
Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.

By the photocopier:
Do not put ink powder in yourself.

On the menu of a restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

On a hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Notice in a dry cleaner’s window: 
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than thirty days will be disposed of.

In an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
….. another one
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

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