Try answering the following questions.
Are there any medium rappers? They’re always big or lil - Unknown
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright
How can you know what you want till you get what you want and you see if you like it? - Stephen Joshua Sondheim
How come abbreviated is such a long word? - Steven Wright
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? - Steven Wright
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo Philips
If a pessimist is always right, is he a realist? - Unknown
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? - Steven Wright
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? - George Deacon
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If it doesn’t matter who wins, then how come they keep score? - Vincent Lombardi
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, does it not follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? - Steven Wright
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? - Steven Wright
If you are in a spaceship that is travelling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen? - Steven Wright
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? - Steven Wright
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright
OK, so what's the speed of dark?