Monday, 14 October 2013


Try answering the following questions.

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always big or lil - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

How can you know what you want till you get what you want and you see if you like it? - Stephen Joshua Sondheim

How come abbreviated is such a long word? - Steven Wright

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? - Steven Wright

How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand. - Emo Philips

If a pessimist is always right, is he a realist? - Unknown

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? - Steven Wright

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God? - George Deacon

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If it doesn’t matter who wins, then how come they keep score? - Vincent Lombardi

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, does it not follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? - Steven Wright

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? - Steven Wright

If you are in a spaceship that is travelling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
- Steven Wright

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? - Steven Wright

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

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