Paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian (from Greek, meaning "beyond" and "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

            Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

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More than ever before, people are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments. - Robert Orben

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about. -  Rodney Dangerfield  

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses. He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle. - Unknown

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your  brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Unknown

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said 'Just wait.' - Judy Tenuta

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right. - Ashleigh Brilliant 

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield  

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met! - Rodney Dangerfield  

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. - Rodney Dangerfield   

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said. - Unknown

Never criticize a man until you’ve run a mile in his shoes. That way, if he doesn’t like what you have to say, it’ll be OK because you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have his shoes. - Robin Evans