Humour

 

Quote Worthy

We discover in ourselves what others hide from us, and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves. - Marquis de Vauvenargues

A ‘yes man’ is one who has no courage to put forth his beliefs, and has a boss who is to short-sighted to see his cowardice. - Unknown

An amiable man is one who listens with a smile to what he already knows, told by a person who does not. - Unknown

It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong. - Henry Wadworth Longfellow

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. - James Lowell

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. - William Arthur Ward

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. - Tom Wilson

You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions. - Denis Waitley

The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing a thing exactly right. - Unknown

Your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who do not even know you. - Unknown

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns. - Mario Puzo

A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. - Oscar Wilde

A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know. - Laurence Peter

A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man. - Charles Dickens

A man on a date wonders if he’ll get lucky. The woman already knows. - Monica Piper

A man’s gotta make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it. - Jimmy Joones

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent. - Jerome Lawrence

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. - Edmond De Concourt

A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye. - Samuel Grafton

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

A perfect tragedy is the noblest production of human nature. - Joseph Addison

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better. - Unknown

Life - Quotes

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. - Unknown

Some days life is all about your dreams, hopes and visions for the future. But there are some days where life is just about putting one foot in front of the other. And that’s okay. - Unknown

At times when it seems like your life is not going the way you anticipated, it may just be that things are actually falling into place and you can’t quite see the big picture yet. - Unknown

Laugh your heart out. Dance in the rain. Cherish the moment. Live, laugh, love, forgive and forget. Life is too short to be living with regrets. - Unknown

Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined. - Deepak Chopra

Life is too ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence. - Unknown

The measure of your life will not be in what you accumulate, but in what you give away. - Dr. Wayne Dyer

If you are still looking for that one person who can change your life, take a look in the mirror. - Unknown

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. - Reba McEntire

It’s much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. - Richard Feynman

Enjoy life. Live your life to the fullest. This is not a rehearsal! - Unknown

Life is simpler when you plough around the stump. - Unknown

Quote Worthy

Frustrations are as much a part of life as death and taxes. It does us good to recognize them for what they are, have a good laugh and let them go. When we do, they seem to fall into perspective. - Leo Buscaglia

You only have power over people so long as you don’t take everything away from them. But when you’ve robbed a man of everything he’s no longer in your power – he’s free again. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming task into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. - Mark Twain

There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand without you even speaking a word. - Unknown

You can never get all the facts from just one newspaper, and unless you have all the facts, you cannot make proper judgments about what is going on. - Harry S. Truman

Ordinary people often ruminate that they have no control of events that unfold in their lives – and that is why they remained ordinary throughout their lives. - Unknown

The Time You Have In Jelly Beans

Online personality Ze Frank uses jelly beans to paint a picture of the average American life span taking into account factors such as sleep and travel. Frank is considered to be a pioneer in the video blogging field that gained popularity with YouTube.

Click on the link to watch the video.

http://www.wimp.com/timebeans/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com

Quote Worthy

I assert that nothing ever comes to pass without a cause. - Jonathan Edwards

Truth exists for the wise, beauty for the feeling heart. - Johann Von Schiller

The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. - Norman Cousins

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. - Henry Ford

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. - C.S Lewis

It takes both the sun and the rain to make a beautiful rainbow. - Unknown

Even a blind chicken finds a few grains of corn now and then. - Unknown

Those who are afraid of doing too much always do too little. - Unknown

Nature, time, and patience are the three great physicians. - H. G. Bohn

We turn not older with years, but newer every day. - Emily Dickinson

I'll lean on you and you'll lean on me and we'll be ok. - Dave Mathews

Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains. - Unknown

Food For Thought

Sometimes being understanding is more important than being right. Sometimes we need not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens. Not keen eyes that always see faults but open arms that accept. Not a finger that points out mistakes but gentle hands that lead. - Unknown

You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn. You’re human, not perfect. You’ve been hurt, but you’re alive. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend. - Unknown

Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both. - Carl Sagan

Quote Worthy

As we sail through life, don’t avoid storms and rough waters – just let it pass. Just sail. Always remember calm seas never make skilful sailors. - Unknown

A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain. - Unknown

Sit in reverie and watch the changing colour of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind. - Henry Wadworth Longfellow

Why does everything have to be so significant? Finding significance in your life doesn’t necessarily make you happy. - Unknown

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. - Judith S. Martin

It is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it. - Alan Alexander Milne 

Reverie is when ideas float in our mind without reflection or regard of the understanding. - John Locke

Indecision is a form of dependency: you are waiting for somebody to give you an answer. - Unknown

Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll need them on your way down. - W. Migner

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there’s less of you. - Margaret Atwood

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care. - George Bernard Shaw

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - Winston Churchill

A gentleman is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on. - Fred Allen

A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A good listener is usually thinking about something else. - Kin Hubbard

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. - Gilbert Chesterton

A good sermon leaves you wondering how the preacher knew all about you. - Unknown

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward. - Minna Antrim

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can’t help himself. - Henry Morgan

Our Recent Past

British Pathe has uploaded 3,500 hours of historic footage to YouTube. Stephen Moss dives into the archive and discovers the mind-boggling strangeness of our recent past.

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/apr/18/10-stone-toddler-british-pathe-archive

Quote Worthy

Sometimes it is better to keep silent than tell others around you just how you feel. Because it hurts badly when you know in your heart that they can hear  your words but they cannot understand. - Unknown

A city is the pulsating product of the human hand and mind, reflecting man’s history, his struggle for freedom, creativity, genius – and his selfishness and errors. - Charles Abrams

The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding. - Albert Camus

Begin to free yourself at once by doing all that is possible with the means you have, and as you proceed in this spirit the way will open for you to do more. - Robert Collier

If you write a page a day, you will be an author of a thick book in a year. Great results will take shape when small efforts are continually put in over time. - Unknown

Just as there is no loss of basic energy in the universe, so no thought or action is without its effects, present or ultimate, seen or unseen, felt or unfelt. - Norman Cousins

Why Is Glass Transparent?

Mark Miodownik, a British materials scientist at University College London, explains why glass is solid and transparent at the same time. In this lesson, discover where glass comes from and how it gets treated to become an ‘amorphous solid’.

Click on the link to watch the video.

 http://www.wimp.com/whytransparent/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com 

Quote Worthy

Mediocrity obtains more with application than superiority without it. - Balthasar Gracian

Our trials, our sorrows, and our griefs develop us. - Orison Swett Marden   

When there’s a lot of it around, you never want it very much. - Peg Bracken

An open foe may prove a curse, but a pretended friend is worse. - John Gay

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. - Unknown

It’s easier to prepare and prevent, than to repair and repent. - Unknown

You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven. - Unknown

No explanation ever explains the necessity of making one. - Unknown

There are no hopeless situations, only hopeless men. - Claire Booth Luce

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. - Walt Disney

To oblige persons often costs little and helps much. - Baltasar Gracian

Efficiency is doing better what is already being done. - Peter Drucker

Top 9 Foods to Lower Your Cholesterol

Click on the link to read the article.

http://www.urbanhealth.com.my/food/top-9-foods-to-lower-your-cholesterol/#sthash.DTxfEYw6.xPvbKBeg.dpbs

Quote Worthy

When you feel burdened with all there is to do, reassess your priorities. Then do the most important things first, and leave the rest for later. - Unknown

There is only one thing about which I am certain, and this is that there is very little about which one can be certain. - William Somerset Maugham

Scoff not at the natural defects of any which are not in their power to amend. It is cruel to beat a cripple with his own crutches! - Thomas Fuller

The relationships we have with the world are largely determined by the relationships we have with ourselves. - Unknown

Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them. - Henry Ford

Do  not correct a fool, or he will hate you; correct a wise man, and he will appreciate you. - Unknown

Let every man shovel out his own snow and the whole city will be passable. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you don’t want temptation to follow you, don’t act as if you are interested. - Richard L. Evans

There is no man living who is not capable of doing more than he thinks he can do. - Henry Ford 

Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens. - Epictetus

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as true or profoundly true.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. - Bob Hope

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucher Marx

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours. - Malcom Forbes

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there. - H. L. Mencken

A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity. - Robert Frost

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A closed mouth gathers no foot. - Bob Cooke 

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. - Milton Berle

A committee is a thing which takes a week to do what one good man can do in an hour. - Elbert Hubbard

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles. - Will Rogers

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch. - Hermione Gingold

A diplomat these days is nothing but a headwaiter who’s allowed to sit down occasionally. - Peter Ustinov

How Many Ways Can You Arrange A Deck Of Cards?

Educator Yannay Khaikin explains why every time you shuffle a deck of cards, you could potentially be holding a combination that has never existed before. There are over 100,000,000 decks produced annually with casinos using hundreds of new decks a night.

Click on the link to watch the video.

http://www.wimp.com/arrangecards/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com

Quote Worthy

Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light. - Joseph Pulitzer

Anything that is out of control can become dangerous. Think of a runaway lorry with a faulty brake or a plane flying with a faulty engine. Think of an uncontrolled mind of a person driving his life. - Unknown

The serene philosophy of the pink rose is steadying. Its fragrant, delicate petals open fully and are ready to fall, without regret or disillusion, after only a day in the sun. - Rachel Peden

To master a game or a skill, you must be taught through description and demonstration; but most importantly, you must be given a chance to practise it constantly. - Unknown

Not to be cheered by praise, not to be grieved by blame, but to know thoroughly ones own virtues or powers are the characteristics of an excellent man. - Saskya Pandita

Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together. - Earl Nightingale

Why Do Humans Yawn?

AsapScience explains the leading theories as to why humans yawn and why it’s so contagious when someone sees it. Ranging from biological to psychological answers, the popular science channel even adds a few notes on yawning when it comes to our pets.

Click on the link to watch the video.

http://www.wimp.com/humansyawn/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com 

Quote Worthy

It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry. - Nikolai Gogol

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

All meanings, we know, depend on the key of interpretation. - George Eliot

The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them. - Lucy MacDonald

Your best is good enough; good enough is not your best. - Gary E. O'Brien 

If we do what is necessary, all the odds are in our favour. - Charles Buxton

Concern should drive us into action and not into depression. - Unknown

It is difficult to see the picture when you are inside the frame. - Unknown

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. - Unknown

Learn to use the word ‘impossible’ with the greatest caution. - Unknown

There is always a way if you’re are not in a hurry. - Paul Theroux

What To Do When You’re Dead: Science Edition

Interesting. :-)

http://www.iflscience.com/environment/what-do-when-youre-dead-science-edition

Quote Worthy

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. - Unknown

The individual is not accountable to society for his actions in so far as these concern the interests of no person but himself. - John Stuart Mill

If anyone accepts my help who doesn’t need it, that’s his problem; if I refuse my help to anyone who needs it, that’s my problem. - Unknown

It is better for you to be free of fear lying upon a pallet, than to have a golden couch and a rich table and be full of trouble. - Epicurus

You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself. - Beryl Markham

What you have inherited from your fathers, earn over again for yourselves, or it will not be yours. - Unknown

To learn to be good to oneself is often more difficult than to learn how to be good to others. - Unknown

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. - Thomas Edison

Half the unhappiness in life comes from people being afraid to go straight at things. - Unknown

It is an all-too-human frailty to suppose that a favourable wind will blow forever. - Unknown

Paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian (from Greek, meaning "beyond" and "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

            Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

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Why make the same mistake twice when there are so many new ones? - Unknown

Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously. - Gilbert Chesterton

Women must come off the pedestal. Men put us up there to get us out of the way. - Viscountess Rhondda

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. - Unknown

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. - Richard B. Sheridan

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow. - Don Herold

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones

You can tell some fellows aren't afraid of work by the way they fight it. - Unknown

You can’t always control who walks into your life … but you can control which window you throw them out of. - Unknown

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? - Steven Wright

You can’t say civilizations don’t advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. - Will Rogers

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. - Unknown

You're never too old to learn something stupid. - Unknown

Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. - Unknown

Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one. - Dave Barry

The Illusion of Time

Based on the book ‘The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality’ by renowned physicist Brian Greene, this PBS documentary explores the concept of space-time as it relates to our common understanding of the past, present, and future.

Click on the link to watch the video.

http://www.wimp.com/illusiontime/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com 

Quote Worthy

When, against one’s will, one is high pressured into making a hurried decision, the best answer is always “No,” because “No” is more easily changed to “Yes,” than “Yes” is changed to “No.” - Charles E. Nielson

   

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture. - Norman Vincent Peale

Understanding is deeper than knowledge. There are many people who know us but very few who understand us. Understanding is more of the heart than of the mind. - Unknown

The forces that affect our lives, the influences that mould and shape us, are often like whispers in a distant room, teasingly indistinct, apprehended only with difficulty. - Unknown

Each of us, face to face with other men, is clothed with some sort of dignity, but we know only too well all the unspeakable things that go on in the heart. - Luigi Pirandello

I don’t like these cold, precise, perfect people, who, in order not to speak wrong, never speak at all, and in order not to do wrong, never do anything. - Henry Ward Peecher

Poison vs Venom: What’s the difference?

Blogger and science education writer Rose Eveleth explains the difference between poisons and venoms. While they’re sometimes used interchangeably because they’re similar, there is a technical difference that places them in two separate categories.

Click on the link to watch the video.

http://www.wimp.com/poisonvenom/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com

Quote Worthy

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H. Humphrey

Their's not to reason why, Their's but to do and die. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

To be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand. - Jose Ortegay Gasset

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend. - Henry David Thoreau

The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain. - Aristotle

Everything that exists is in a manner the seed of that which will be. - Marcus Aurelius

Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth. - Unknown

The greatest events, aren’t the loudest but the most quiet hours. - Unknown

There is a limit at which forbearance ceases to be a virtue. - Edmund Burke

Any information is valuable to the degree that you can use it. - Unknown

Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. - Unknown

Fiction gives us a good chance that life denies us. - Paul Theroux

Trivia

Note: I haven’t tested these, so comment if any of these are bogus or not.

1. Get rid of unwanted hair anywhere! For I week, rub 2 teaspoon coffee grounds mixed with 1 teaspoon baking soda. The baking soda intensifies the compounds of the coffee breaking down the hair follicles at the root.

2. If your throat itches, scratch your ear. Doing so stimulates the nerves in your ear and create a reflex in the throat which causes a muscle spasm that kills the itchy feeling.

3. Homemade Face Mask: Bananas are great for oily skin. Mash up a banana with a teaspoon of honey and a couple of drops of lemon juice. Apply to your face and let it sit for 15 minutes before washing with a cool washcloth.

Quote Worthy

You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave. - Sydney Smith

They say the best men are molded out of faults and, for the most, become much more the better for being a little bad. - William Shakespeare

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

Skills and knowledge have to be constantly updated because they are constantly being made outdated. - Unknown

Knowing when to keep your mouth shut is invariably more important than opening it at the right time. - Malcom Forbes

It is only what is written upon the soul of man that will survive the wreck of time. - Francis J. Grimke

We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails to always reach our destination. - Unknown

One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often. - Erich Fromm

Set your heart free to fully live and love by leaving behind the hurts of bygone days. - Unknown

Too many people overvalue what they’re not and undervalue what they are. - Malcom Forbes