Paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian (from Greek, meaning "beyond" and "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

            Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

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Why make the same mistake twice when there are so many new ones? - Unknown

Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously. - Gilbert Chesterton

Women must come off the pedestal. Men put us up there to get us out of the way. - Viscountess Rhondda

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. - Unknown

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. - Richard B. Sheridan

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow. - Don Herold

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones

You can tell some fellows aren't afraid of work by the way they fight it. - Unknown

You can’t always control who walks into your life … but you can control which window you throw them out of. - Unknown

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? - Steven Wright

You can’t say civilizations don’t advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. - Will Rogers

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. - Unknown

You're never too old to learn something stupid. - Unknown

Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. - Unknown

Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one. - Dave Barry