Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

For you to be successful, sacrifices must be made. It's better that they are made by others but failing that, you'll have to make them yourself. - Rita Mae Brown

Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense. - Robert Frost

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. - John F Kennedy

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. - Laurence Peter

Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Gain a modest reputation for being unreliable and you will never be asked to do a thing. - Unknown

Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. - Frank Dane

God cannot alter the past, though historians can. - Samuel Butler

God is love, I dare say. But what mischievous devil love is. - Samuel Butler

God put me on Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die! - Unknown

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. - Mark Twain

Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today. - John C. Maxwell

Good fences make good neighbors. - Robert Frost

Good manners involve the habit of skilful insincerity - the habit of saying “good morning” to those whose mornings you would rather blight, and of passing the butter to those you would rather starve. - Roger Scruton

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed. - Pierre Teilhard De Chardin