Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

May evil spirits be confused on the way to your door. - George Carlin

May you never forget what is worth remembering; Or remember what is best forgotten. - Unknown

May your every wish be granted. - Ancient Chinese Curse

Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction. - Ashleigh Brilliant 

Merely innocent flirtation. Not quite adultery, but adulteration. - Lord G. G. Bryon

Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, "Why not?" and the other, "Why bother?" - Sydney J. Harris

Misers make wonderful ancestors. - Unknown

Money doesn’t buy happiness? Well it does buy a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? Yeah, I thought so. - Unknown

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. - Woody Allen 

Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye. - Unknown

Moping melancholy And moon-struck madness. - John Milton

More people should learn to tell their dollars where to go instead of asking them where they went. - Roger Babson 

Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them. - Robert Lynd

Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. - Woody Allen 

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. - Fred Allen

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. - Unknown

Murder, like talent, seems occasionally to run in families. - G. H. Lewes