Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

There isn’t much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it. - Kin Hubbard

There should be no yelling in the home unless there is a fire. - David McKay

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails. - Jonathan Swift

There’s a method to my madness. Not sure what it is. But it seems to work. - Unknown

There’s a sucker born ever minute. - Phineas T. Barnum

There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it’s always somebody else. - Cullen Hightower

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? - Kin Hubbard

There’s nothing wrong with having nothing to say unless you insist on saying it. - Unknown

They are proud in humility; proud in that they are not proud. - Robert Burton

They do not sweat and whine about their condition. They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins. They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God. Not one is dissatisfied, not one is demented with the mania of owning things. Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago. - Walt Whitman on animals

They have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. - Hosea

They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye. - Unknown

They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and when the necessity is survival she can be one mean mother, but it’s her child invention that’s the real dangerous one. - Darien Fawkes

They say that the more a person learns, the more they find there is to learn. Therefore the smarter you think you are, the dumber you really are. - Unknown