Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen 

There goes another beautiful theory about to be murdered by a brutal gang of facts. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have often found in travelling in a stage-coach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place. - Washington Irving

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? - Josh Billings

There is no problem a good miracle can't solve. - Unknown

There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. - Oscar Wilde

There is no such thing as right and wrong, there's just popular opinion. - Jeffrey Goines

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. - Don Herold

There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn. - Samuel Johnson

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad. - Salvador Dali

There is only one situation I can think of in which men and women make an effort to read better than they usually do. It is when they are in love and reading a love letter. - Mortimer Adler

There is only one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says ‘yes’, you know he is crooked. - Groucho Marx

There is so much apathy in the world today . . . but who cares? - Unknown