Paraprosdokians

“A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.” - Wikipedia

Enjoy today’s selection of Paraprosdokians. May your days be filled with laughter.

Did you know on the canary Islands? There is not one canary? And on the virgin isles? Same thing, not one canary there either! - Unknown

The older I get, the more I regret all the people I’ve lost over the years. Maybe being a trail guide wasn’t such a great idea after all. - Unknown

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. - Emo Philips

I have no colour prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can’t be any worse. - Mark Twain

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never criticize a man until you’ve run a mile in his shoes. That way, if he doesn’t like what you have to say, it’ll be OK because you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have his shoes. - Robin Evans

I make it a policy to try never to make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way. After all, there’s always all kinds of new ways to make a complete idiot of myself. Why repeat the old ones? - Margot Dalton

People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it’s no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. - Erma Bombeck

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