Monday, 20 July 2015

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

A good mood is like a balloon ... one little prick is all takes to ruin it! - Unknown 

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Be good to your nieces and nephews. one day you'll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home. - Unknown

Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain. - Unknown

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive? - Ellen DeGeneres

Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow. - James. Michener

Give a man a fish and he'll feed himself for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll systematically scour the oceans clean of anything edible. - Unknown

I am going to retire and live off my savings. What I'll do the second day, I have no idea. - Unknown

I forgive and forget because I have a good heart and a terrible memory. - Unknown

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Intelligent people are constantly wondering. Idiots are always dead sure about every damn thing. - Unknown

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off light for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Gordy Carter

No comments: