humorous Quotes

Humorous, quirky quotes – some of which are also profoundly true.

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members. - David Coblitz

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. - Lana Turner

A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King. - Emily Dickinson

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but is on sale. - Unknown

A woman's charm is fifty percent illusion. - Tennessee Williams

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

An artful or false woman shall set thy pillow with thorns. - Martin Farquhar Tupper

Any day above ground is a good day. - Robert Gerus

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

As God is my witness, the more I deal with women, the more I like my cat. - P. N. Elrod

Beauty in woman is that potent alchemy which transforms men into asses. - Abraham Miller