Humorous Quotes

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But the greatest love - the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother - Is the tender, passionate, undying love, of one beer drunken slob for another. - Unknown

I have always found the female of the human species many times more difficult to understand than the male. - Osamu Dazai

For 3 days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but the phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. - Unknown

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. - Mark Twain

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen

Alcohol does not solve problems, but then again, neither does milk. - Unknown

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. - Joe E. Lewis

A jealous woman does better research than the FBI. - Anonymous

I cannot afford to waste my time making money. - Louis Agassiz

Let us respect gray hair, especially our own. - J. P. Sears

Jumping for joy is good exercise. - Unknown