Monday, 28 March 2016

Humorous Quotes

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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. - Unknown

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual. - Patrick Moore

It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating. - Katherine Hepburn

I realize I may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I’d rather be someone’s shot of Tequila anyway. - Unknown

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. - Charles M. Schulz

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else. - Ann Landers

A man is as old as he’s feeling, a woman as old as she looks. - Mortimer Collins

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends. May they never meet! - Unknown

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Aunty Acid

In God we trust, others must pay cash. - Unknown

I’m just a baby – what's your excuse? - Unknown

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