Monday 2 May 2016

Humorous Quotes


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I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. - Tracy Smith

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. - Unknown

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon. - Unknown

We know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books about it. - Peter Drucker

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. - George Carlin

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

I have lived with several Zen masters – all of them cats. - Eckhart Tolle

‘Vegetarian’ is an old Indian word for ‘bad hunter.’ - Unknown

Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver. - Unknown

Will Will will the will to Will? - Unknown

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