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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get
drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no
sin, we go to Heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven. - Unknown
I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So
whenever I forget, it will tell me that my password is ‘incorrect’. - Unknown
The best way to get most husbands to do
something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Anne Bancroft
I
may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be
ugly. - Winston Churchill
The elevator to success is out of order.
You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard
I will not be impressed with technology until
I can download food from the internet. - Unknown
There are two perfectly good men, one dead
and the other unborn. - Chinese Proverb
You can't put a price tag on love, but you
can on all its accessories. - Melanie
Clark
I'm trying to read a book on how to relax,
but I keep falling asleep. - Jim Loy
What the world really needs is more love and
less paperwork. - Pearl Bailey
I’m open to suggestions, just not to taking
them. - Unknown
With this smile, I can get away with
everything. - Unknown
I’m sorry, my fault, I forgot you were an
idiot. - Unknown
I’m so old they've cancelled my blood type. -
Bob Hope
Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
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