Monday, 23 May 2016

Humorous Quotes

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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven. - Unknown

I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So whenever I forget, it will tell me that my password is ‘incorrect’. - Unknown

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Anne Bancroft

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet. - Unknown

There are two perfectly good men, one dead and the other unborn. - Chinese Proverb

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. - Melanie Clark

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep. - Jim Loy

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. - Pearl Bailey

I’m open to suggestions, just not to taking them. - Unknown

With this smile, I can get away with everything. - Unknown

I’m sorry, my fault, I forgot you were an idiot. - Unknown

I’m so old they've cancelled my blood type. - Bob Hope

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

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