Monday, 9 May 2016

Humorous Quotes

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There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything, and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way. - Colonel Potter

The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But ... but ... think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses. - Boris

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Recession is when a neighbour loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. - Ronald Regan

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. - Brendan Behan

If the cup is only half full ... I suggest you buy a smaller bra. - Aunty Acid

Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable. - Fran Lebowitz

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

It’s better to be late than to arrive ugly. - Makeup Artists Meet

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Weapons of mass distraction. - Unknown

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