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There’s a right way and a wrong way to do
everything, and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it
the right way. - Colonel Potter
The key here, I think, is to not think of
death as an end. But ... but ... think of it more as a very effective way of
cutting down on your expenses. - Boris
There are only two things a child will share
willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age. - Benjamin Spock
Politicians
are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no
river. - Nikita Khrushchev
When we remember we are all mad, the
mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women
because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde
Recession is when a neighbour loses his job.
Depression is when you lose yours. - Ronald
Regan
I only take a drink on two occasions - when
I’m thirsty and when I’m not. - Brendan
Behan
If the cup is only half full ... I suggest you buy a
smaller bra. - Aunty Acid
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been
insufferable. - Fran Lebowitz
Procrastination
is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don
Marquis
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
- George Burns
It’s
better to be late than to arrive ugly. - Makeup
Artists Meet
There is still no cure for the common
birthday. - John Glenn
Weapons of mass distraction. - Unknown
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