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I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself. - Fran Lebowitz
The older generation thought nothing of getting up at five every morning and the younger generation doesn’t think much of it either.
Hold your wife’s hand in the mall because if you let go, she’ll start shopping. It looks romantic abut it’s actually economic. - Unknown
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighbourhood after dark.
Getting old sucks! I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks, now it’s more like a bounced cheque. - Dawn French
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers
You are only old enough to get a tattoo when you think tattoos are juvenile. - Joseph Julius Bonkowski Jr.
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
I love teamwork. I love the idea of everyone rallying together to help me win. - Jarod Kintz
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of .
The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand! - Danny Jansen
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