For Google+ readers, please click on the link to see the post
In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future. - Richard Jeni
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do more, and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down. - T. S. Eliot
Unfortunately, creative people are at their most creative when writing their autobiographies. - Steven Pinker
Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster. - Scott Adams
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost
I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - W.C. Fields
If lightning is the anger of the gods, then the gods are concerned mostly about trees. - Lao Tzu
We love lawyers. If there weren’t any lawyers, there wouldn’t be any jokes!
Give me just enough information so that I can lie convincingly.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
For more Humorous quotes … click here